Gremlins Falls Victim to Hollywood

Published 5 years ago by , Updated August 22nd, 2013 at 6:51 pm,

gremlins0zf Gremlins Falls Victim to Hollywood

The wave of 80s movies remakes continues to claim victims.  As you all know, Tron is coming, Robocop is in the works, there’s an A-team flick in there somewhere, and rumors of He-Man are recirculating (not that I think anyone could top Dolph Lundgren).  And now you can tack on another classic, Gremlins.

This isn’t just some rumor started by a malicious mogwai – this comes from the director of the first two Gremlins installments, Joe Dante. Apparently, he told Emprie:

“I (Dante) hear they’re going to make another one soon. I can see why – it would be stupid to let that title go to waste.”

Really? How many times can we watch Billy Peltzer screw up and once again loose/feed/soak Gizmo?  There doesn’t seem like enough to sustain another sequel.  And isn’t everyone in the originals too busy handing over the AARP cards at early bird specials to film another one? This is all assuming anyone remembers where they’ve stashed the Gizmo puppet.

More than likely the original cast (with the exception of some cheeky cameo) won’t be involved.  Strike one.  Chris Columbus, the creator of the characters that spawned innumerable lunch box graphics, has adamantly squashed any notion that he’ll be involved:

“I haven’t heard about it. If they do the monsters with CGI, I don’t know if it would be the same. They should go back and do it with puppets again, though at this point I wouldn’t be interested in being involved.”

Strike two.  And what was that, Columbus?  CGI, not puppets?  Strike three.  You’re out.

Hollywood’s eagerness to reach into the CGI bin and see how they can bastardize movies that defined a generation has the potential to be its downfall.  Is Hollywood so short on plots that they have to scour IMDB for films yet to be remastered and digitized?   If the powers that be have their way, they could possibly erase an entire generation of film.  With remakes popping up like social networking sites, the new films’ progenitors will fade into obscurity until coming generations don’t even realize that the remakes are remakes! Just to solidify my point, take a gander at this list of 80s films set to be revamped in the next few years:

They Live (2011)
Short Circut (2010)
He-Man (no date announced)
Red Dawn (2010)
Robocop (2010)
Weird Science (no date announced)
Karate Kid (retitled The Kung Fu Kid) (2010)

Karate Kid?!?!  Really?  Didn’t we already try this 15 years ago before Hilary Swank went full-on dude (see: Boys Don’t Cry)?

Seriously though, if Gremlins can fall, I would bank on an ET remake, a Back to the Future remake, and how about a Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure remake for safe measure? Where will the madness end?  These guys seem to think that throwing a little CGI into an old story will turn it into something great for the new generation.  But is there really enough of a following of Teen Witch (for real-life example) to warrant investing millions into a remake that’s a waste of Ashley Tisdale’s – and everybody else’s – time? There’s no way they can TOP THAT film (click the link for proof)!

So remember these three rules, Gremlins fans:  Steer clear of moisture, avoid the buffet after midnight, and let’s leave well enough alone, shall we?

Source: Empire, Zombie Chatter, buzzsugar.com

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46 Comments

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  1. I never did see Gremlins but: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

  2. That’s awful news. I love Gremlins, although maybe I love Gremlins 2 more as it makes fun of itself. Plus a great musical number!

    CGI Gremlins would be the worst.

    They’re remaking They Live as well? That’s another Carpenter classic ruined then.
    Just don’t touch Big Trouble in Little China!

  3. The Gremlins were awesome! But please LET THIS DIE. I don’t want to see them do this.

  4. I was thinking this earlier today, I hope they make a third, als long as its done RIGHT.

  5. All right, bring on the Back To The Future remake. That’s a good idea, thanks for bringing it up.

    Michael Cera as Marty, Jim Carrey as Doc. Marty goes from 2010 to 1980, plays punk music at the school dance and then “invents” grunge by playing Teen Spirit!

    Doc: Okay, future boy, then who’s President in 2010?
    Marty: Barack Obama!
    Doc: No, I mean who’s President of the United States in 2010?

  6. “There doesn’t seem like enough to sustain another sequel.”

    Thats b/c the first two were crap.

  7. A Gremlins remake? Preposterous! If they want to make another Gremlins movie make it a sequel set twenty five years later. Say Billy and Kate’s kids inherit Gizmo somehow and make similar mistakes perhaps even make it an origin movie so instead of a sequel it’s a prequel maybe even set in china several years in the past (how old is Gizmo anyway?. As for the age of the cast, Phoebe Cates and Zach Galligan are in their forties so it wouldn’t be hard for them to play Billy and Kate as parents. Anyway, I’m rambling. Holywood should focus on those 80′s movies that could use a boost from today’s special effects. Clash of the Titans for example.

  8. I agree that they are going overboard with the remakes. I would rather see original stuff. However…

    Jacob: “If the powers that be have their way, they could possibly erase an entire generation of film.”

    Don’t you think that’s a bit over-dramatic. Making a remake of a movie doesn’t affect the original in any way. Those movies will always be there for us to enjoy. I loved the original Gremlins. If they make a remake, I might like it or hate it, but it won’t change the fact that every time I turn on the TV and Gremlins happens to be on, I just have to sit and watch it. Some people act like it’s some kind of personal attack on them if Hollywood makes a movie that they don’t think they should make. It doesn’t have anything to do with you. If you don’t want to watch the movie…then don’t. The studios can make what ever they want and it’s not right or wrong…if it fails, it’s their money they are losing. I enjoy seeing some of the remakes just to see how they change it up. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, sometimes it’s just different. But it doesn’t erase the old movies…that’s just a silly thing to say.

  9. I say they make a Critters remake. Anyone else remember those movies? Critters is to Gremlins what Carnosaur was to Jurrasic Park.

  10. I wholeheartedly agree with Wickamo. Remakes do not affect the originals at all and if anything, bring some much needed attention to originals, a good thing. Using hyperbole to insinuate that the originals are being “erased” or affected in any other way is a writing crutch, just another way to voice your displeasure at the remake while totally overlooking all the extra attention the originals will be getting because of the remake.

  11. Los Angelinos, Gremlins will be showing the weekend after this one at the New Beverly with Joe Dante in person. August 15th, they’ll be showing the original Halloween, pretty much to counterprogram the new Halloween 2. This is an example of remakes getting people to dust off the originals.

  12. I’ve come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I’m all out of bubblegum.- they live

  13. I hate to remind you of this Jake, but Tron Legacy is a sequel with two original cast members from the 1982 film recreating their roles. In addition, the Karate Kid film with a young Hilary Swank was not a remake. It was a sequel.
    Also, not every announced ‘remake’ will in fact take place. Warriors remake? Dead. Revenge Of The Nerds? Close but no dice. Scanners? Still around in limbo. Escape From New York? Gerald Butler pulled out, it stalled. The list of casualties continues. There is no set date for Weird Science or They Live (Again), as those are simply announced with few, if anyone, really connected to them.

    In your silly little rant, you also omitted two actual remakes of 80′s films, A Nightmare On Elm Street and Footloose (which both are currently filming), there is no word if Gremlins will be a remake or a sequel, just that if either takes place, they’ll Yoda-ize the General and Mogwai. Of all the SW prequels, love ‘em or leave ‘em, the CG Yoda was nothing short of outstanding. I’m not suggesting they should do this when the Gremlins multiply, but if they do at least half and half, so be it. It will be fine by me. True, they could save some cash doing it the puppet way, and, to be fair, the second film broke the fourth wall in both big screen/cable and VHS, so maybe it doesn’t have to be taken seriously. But if some Gremlins are CG, that’s alright.

    Yes, I said silly. It was so off the mark that I actually thought you must have been having a energy drink crash or something. Nothing H’wood will do will soil the original pictures. In some cases, they make them look better. Also, some of the best 80′s films were themselves remakes- The Fly, Roxanne, The Blob, John Carpenter’s remake of The Thing and let’s throw in Batman while we are at it. Don’t say the latter does not count either; otherwise, you might as well take He-Man (Masters Of The Universe) off that ‘list’ of yours, since it is a new take on something that beforehand was turned into camp cheese.

    Did you know that Children Of The Corn got remade? That Steven King short story has been remade into an upcoming SyFy TV film. I didn’t hear anyone raising a big fuss about it. Maybe that first film was a piece of doggie dump with some flies on it. So it went under the radar. Who knows.

    I can’t say for sure if Gremlins will be remade or not anymore than They Live will be. Or even Top Secret! for that matter. (Hey, with all the spoof films, why not a…no, no, no, forget it…)

  14. No to Gremlins 3.

    BUT, I actually wouldn’t be opposed to a gremlins remake. More so than any of these other remakes. But a darker version, bring the creepy back to gremlins. It can have slight comedy undertones but I think an R rated horror style mashing of like The Thing meets Gremlins would be fantastic.

  15. Id sit through Gremlins 3 before a gremlins remake. Either way they wont be of any real quality liek the first two.

  16. They Live? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. @ steven the git

    I totally agree with you on Big Trouble in Little China..leave that one alone..

    To quote Jack:

    “When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail.””

    I love that movie!!! :)

  18. Of course remakes don’t “soil” the original. But for the most part they’re a quick, easy money grab that’s not as hard to write as an original film and that is looking to cash in on an established brand. Sure, some remakes are great, but others just stink of opportunism.

    Here are my “5 Rules for Movie Remakes” that I published a while back:

    http://screenrant.com/top-five-rules-for-movie-remakes-vic-964/

    Vic

  19. Not all of these 80′s grab bag films can be looked at with equal disgust. Gremlins, sure, it doesn’t need a revisit, and it shouldn’t get one. The idea ran it’s full course, and that should end that. It won’t but it should.

    But Tron? It was a decent idea with ideas that had more potential than what got put to film. It’s remembered more for it’s groundbreaking (at the time) graphics than for an absorbing story. But the seeds were there and you can still see them. If there is untapped potential, then it’s worth taking a fresh look at it.

    Hollywood however is not capable of deciphering one type from the other so they’ll throw everything against the wall and see what sticks.

  20. what’s wrong with making cash grab films? You’d be surprised how many original films were made to make money

  21. “what’s wrong with making cash grab films?”

    ALL films are a cash grab.

  22. exactly, Matt. Those of us that know this get really annoyed with people freaking out over remakes

  23. Eh I’ll give it a chance. Don’t see why we need to think the worst of everything. And I’m DEFINITELY giving Robocop a chance, after what Aronofsky did with The Wrestler!

  24. Ive been hoping for a Gremlins revival for years.

  25. @Everyone complaining about us complaining about remakes – You miss the point entirely about a remake. I’ve seen this movie once already – AS A CHILD GROWING UP IN THE 80′S!!!!

    I do not want to see it again 20 years later just because CGI has been invented. I like what they are doing with the Clash of the Titans remake, because I was so little when the movie came out that I never saw it in the theater. There are so many more movies that deserve a fresh and updated look from the 50′s, 60′s and 70′s and they are skipping them because the writers they have in Hollywood are my age, 27 – 37, and all those writers can think about is how “cool” it would be to work on a sitcom/video game/cartoon they grew up watching and how they could make it look great on the big screen. Great idea but ultimately they’ve all failed.

    Think it’s ok for them to remake everything after only 25 years? OK, here’s a list of movies from the 80′s that they could remake *cringe*: The Terminator, Die Hard, The Abyss, Action Jackson, Beetlejuice, Better Off Dead, Beverly Hills Cop, Big, Caddyshack, E.T., Cobra, The Color of Money – I’ve only gotten through the C’s and I’m sure I named a few films that no one wants to be remade but they fall within your timeframe to qualify so I hope they get made just to prove my point.

  26. “They should go back and do it with puppets again”

    How do you get Columbus saying CGI not puppets from that?

  27. I’m not too upset by this.

    Granted, I wasn’t a huge fan of the first two Gremlins movies by any measure of the imagination. Still, I can easily see an upgrade of the franchise be a little more successful, and we have generations of both children and teens who have probably never seen these movies, who could still probably appreciate the concept if modernized a bit more.

    See, I’m reminded of when Terminator 2 came out. It was sleek, impressive, up to date, and very well-liked, of course. Some neighboring teen boys were at my place (sons of my mom’s friend) who had never seen the first movie, of course loved the second, and was curious about it. I warned them about the gore, but let them watch em. They didn’t even finish the movie. Wasn’t because of the gore. They called it BORING. Geez. Philistines. :D

    But in this case, Gremlins 1 and 2 would probably get the same reaction. I feel old.

  28. I love Big Trouble to bits. The DVD with Carpenter and Russell’s commentary makes it even better, with the pair of them laughing at their hero.

    I’ve no problem with remaking dodgy or bad movies, but no idea to touch a lot of these ones. Maybe a Krull remake, that I’d like to see, if will always love the original.
    Just fed up with inferior directors and actors getting to redo movies I love.

  29. Also I remember Critters very well. Leonardo DiCaprio had an early role in one.
    Good but daft movies.

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