Gremlins Falls Victim to Hollywood

Published 6 years ago by , Updated August 22nd, 2013 at 6:51 pm,

gremlins0zf Gremlins Falls Victim to Hollywood

The wave of 80s movies remakes continues to claim victims.  As you all know, Tron is coming, Robocop is in the works, there’s an A-team flick in there somewhere, and rumors of He-Man are recirculating (not that I think anyone could top Dolph Lundgren).  And now you can tack on another classic, Gremlins.

This isn’t just some rumor started by a malicious mogwai – this comes from the director of the first two Gremlins installments, Joe Dante. Apparently, he told Emprie:

“I (Dante) hear they’re going to make another one soon. I can see why – it would be stupid to let that title go to waste.”

Really? How many times can we watch Billy Peltzer screw up and once again loose/feed/soak Gizmo?  There doesn’t seem like enough to sustain another sequel.  And isn’t everyone in the originals too busy handing over the AARP cards at early bird specials to film another one? This is all assuming anyone remembers where they’ve stashed the Gizmo puppet.

More than likely the original cast (with the exception of some cheeky cameo) won’t be involved.  Strike one.  Chris Columbus, the creator of the characters that spawned innumerable lunch box graphics, has adamantly squashed any notion that he’ll be involved:

“I haven’t heard about it. If they do the monsters with CGI, I don’t know if it would be the same. They should go back and do it with puppets again, though at this point I wouldn’t be interested in being involved.”

Strike two.  And what was that, Columbus?  CGI, not puppets?  Strike three.  You’re out.

Hollywood’s eagerness to reach into the CGI bin and see how they can bastardize movies that defined a generation has the potential to be its downfall.  Is Hollywood so short on plots that they have to scour IMDB for films yet to be remastered and digitized?   If the powers that be have their way, they could possibly erase an entire generation of film.  With remakes popping up like social networking sites, the new films’ progenitors will fade into obscurity until coming generations don’t even realize that the remakes are remakes! Just to solidify my point, take a gander at this list of 80s films set to be revamped in the next few years:

They Live (2011)
Short Circut (2010)
He-Man (no date announced)
Red Dawn (2010)
Robocop (2010)
Weird Science (no date announced)
Karate Kid (retitled The Kung Fu Kid) (2010)

Karate Kid?!?!  Really?  Didn’t we already try this 15 years ago before Hilary Swank went full-on dude (see: Boys Don’t Cry)?

Seriously though, if Gremlins can fall, I would bank on an ET remake, a Back to the Future remake, and how about a Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure remake for safe measure? Where will the madness end?  These guys seem to think that throwing a little CGI into an old story will turn it into something great for the new generation.  But is there really enough of a following of Teen Witch (for real-life example) to warrant investing millions into a remake that’s a waste of Ashley Tisdale’s – and everybody else’s – time? There’s no way they can TOP THAT film (click the link for proof)!

So remember these three rules, Gremlins fans:  Steer clear of moisture, avoid the buffet after midnight, and let’s leave well enough alone, shall we?

Source: Empire, Zombie Chatter,

TAGS: Gremlins
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  1. Paul Young,

    It wouldn’t matter to me if those films were remade….its not gonna affect the original ANYWAY, and even they turn out to be complete crap then I’ll just go watch the original again. For example I HATE the Godzilla remake, but I don’t watch it…I just watch the original over.

  2. @Matt

    While I agree with your take about just watching the original if the remake is bad, I would have to think we are missing out on a lot of truly unique and interesting stories being made into film because of the remakes being done.

  3. @Paul

    If you don’t wanna watch the remake, then don’t. No one’s forcing you.

    But why get mad when others that do are being given that option? You should skip it, but others should be able to watch it if they want without you getting upset about it.

  4. Now I’m not a fan of all the so called remakes that keep popping up. But Ihave to admit I wouldn’t mind seeing another Gremlins movie. But I don’t think a remake is necessary. I saw the commercial that was recently done with the Gremlins old school with puppets and it looked great. I understand the writers in Hollywood have lost all creativity. But maybe, just maybe, somebody could scribe up something that could simply bring the Gremlins up to date. Times have changed doesn’t mean the Gremlins have to. But what better time for the Gremlins to show their faces again then a tech dominant world. They could be blamed for everything from Iphones not doing what you want them to do. To the auto industry taking a dive. I believe it’s totally possible to bring Gizmo and the same old tongue in cheek Gremlins to life to wreck havoc on the 21st century.

  5. You know a Critters remake/reboot would work. Hmmmm………….

  6. @Mike – “But why get mad when others that do are being given that option?” Because it’s a free nation I live in and I’m allowed to express my opinion or displeasure any way I deem fit? Just sayin….

    My major problem with remaking so many films from the 80′s is the younger generation starts to think the newer version of the film is the only version of the film. They hate teh remake and never bother to see the original and therefore miss out on the whole experience.

    Also, it shows a complete lack of creativity on the part of the Hollywood writers and that is just sad.

  7. @Paul

    if the younger generation already don’t know about the originals, then the remakes will bring more attention to them. Face it, not doing anything with them isn’t going to get the younger set to notice the originals any more.

    And remakes can be creative if done right. Look at how John Carpenter remade the The Thing and gave us a better film. Or look at how he remade Rio Bravo as Assault on Precinct 13. Thank god for those remakes. Look at Ocean’s 11, that remake was better than the original. Or Hitchcock remaking his own The Man Who Knew Too Much, with greater success.

    Sure, there are more bad remakes than good, but the ratio’s about the same for original films as well.

    They can always rerelease Gremlins but it probably wouldn’t even make enough money to justify the rerelease. A remake would. It’s a business.

  8. i just don’t like the remakes because there is no originality to them. “i can’t think of anything fresh….so we should just remake this old movie with some new special effects.”

  9. A lot of these remakes have very original takes on the material. Look at Oliver Stone’s Scarface script or Carpenter’s The Thing. Or Ocean’s 11. Why does everyone think it’ll be like Van Sant’s Psycho?

  10. @mike – did you just compare the remake garbage that is spewing forth right now to Scarface and The Thing? Dude, those movies came out more than 25 years ago…you CANNOT group those movies together with what is being done now.

  11. i never saw the original Ocean’s 11 to compare, i think i might have to check it out.
    i don’t so much mind when remakes are made and done well, i just don’t like when they are made because original ideas are running short which seems to be the trend.
    as much fun as a Krull remake sounds, i kinda like the campiness of the original.

  12. I was watching the original “Gremlins” and thinking about this blog tonight when I came to an important realization. While most people seem to get upset because remakes or reboots are ruining their favorite movies, I only get upset when Hollywood wastes their time making remakes of movies I never really cared about.

    For example, I don’t really think we need another Karate Kid (who could replace Pat Morita, anyway?), Short Circuit (I always preferred 2 to the original), Red Dawn, or He-Man. In those cases, I agree that I’d much rather see Hollywood use new, original ideas, or at least go back to adapting book rather than old movies, theme park rides, and action figures.

    On the other hand, I was really enthusiastic about the much malligned 2006 “Pink Panther”, because I knew nothing could hurt the genius of the Peter Sellers originals, so Steve Martin’s take could only add to the mythos. I always loved anything to do with “Gremlins”, and I’d be one of the first to buy a ticket to a new Gremlins movie.

    Ashley Tisdale shouldn’t be wasting her time with a “Teen Witch” remake, but after seeing her in the Gremlin-esque “Aliens in the Attic”, I have utmost faith that if “Gremlins” were to be remade, she could really pull of that “Why I hate Christmas” speech with those puppy eyes and that quivering lip thing she does.

    And if the remake’s really terrible (I’ve seen my fair share of those), there’s always the original to fall back on for comfort.

  13. No remake of Big Trouble in Little China, a sequel!!! Bring Back Jack Burton!

  14. CGI is so crap. Its funny that movies now a days are not near as well done as movies like the gremlins, aliens, terminator, predator etc. It makes you think what the standards are for other generations, who are younger. Why don’t film makers know the formula for a good movie. Take for example, and I know it is my opinion only, but take pitch black, in my opinion it was a great film, simple formula, great affects, why the hell couldn’t they replicate that to some extent ? Why was the chronicles with sell their fancy crap absolutely rubbish. prometheus was a total “what the hell”? The whole look of the film was ridiculous send it was supposed to be before the alien films? Do they just not give a crape anymore?
    Lets not even mention terminator 3 ……jaysus