Ain’t It Cool News has two snitches readers who have seen G.I. Joe: The Rise Cobra and are reporting back to let people know what they thought about the film, which pretty much everybody (that I know at least) has written off as a guranteed bomb.

So, did AICN‘s readers confirm what everyone has been expecting? Yes and No.

However, one thing there is NO debate about is this new G.I. Joe viral video, which features one brave Joe in an accelerator suit hopping on a skateboard for some extreme half-pipe action! It’s pretty awesome!But first the reviews:

AICN got two separate reviews (along with photos of the screening passes to confirm these “readers” really saw the movie). Each reviewer – for all their individual differences – pretty much landed on the middle ground of “it’s not as bad as I thought.” Check out a couple snippets:

REVIEWER #1 (a.k.a. “Mr. Blonde”)’s the short version: It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t the train wreck I expected. Also, it was more enjoyable than Transformers 2.

The first thing to know, is the movie is pretty cheesy for most of the running time…It’s cheesy, light hearted fun. The action is cartoony most of the time but borders on badass at others (this mostly refers to anytime Snake Eyes is on screen). The effects were all over the place as well. Some stuff looked pretty good (the accelerator suit chase) other times it was typical Stephen Sommers cartoon cgi.

The biggest question, I guess, is this: “Is it a G.I. Joe movie?” Honestly, I’d have to say “No.” It’s not quite the G.I. Joe I remember, but it is a big, cheesy, fun and silly action movie that kept me entertained for about 2 hours.


REVIEWER #2 (a.k.a. “Wild Weasel”)

…I don’t have the view that Stephen Sommers has “raped my childhood” but I can say that the children in the screening were having a blast, and without a doubt were pushing their parents to buy whatever action figure for the character they most identified with.

The movie didn’t make a lasting impression on me and while they set up a sequel, I have a hard time mustering any enthusiasm for it. However, I have a feeling that the movie is loud, violent, and pop-corny enough (is that even a word?) for the general populace to enjoy.


No surprise: Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow are the high points of the fillm.

So there you have it, G.I. Joe: solid mindless popcorn fun. Of course these are simply two opinions, but really, does the movie look any better or worse to you than what these two reviewers describe?

For full transcripts of these early reviews, head over to Ain’t It Cool News.

Now onto the viral video – check it out and just try to not enjoy it:

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra hits theaters on August 7, 2009.
Source: AICN & Daily Motion