The news this week that Universal plans to remake the painfully awful 80’s disaster, Drop Dead Fred, shocks the imagination into envisioning what other horrible cinematic outings of two decades ago we’ll have to sit through in coming years.
The impressively unfunny Russell Brand will star in Fred, a dark “imaginary friend” comedy for adults. The original made no money and was roundly struck off during its theatrical run. But, everything pastel and techno-pop is new again in a movie industry seemingly devoid of the huevos necessary to make something original. It seems the studios are dead set on remaking every story set to celluloid while Ronald Reagan was president.
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So, it’s inevitable that they’ll run through the lists of decent 80s movies and decide to crank out more remakes of the decade’s embarrassments. Here we’ve included five such choices, and we fully expect all of them to surface on the front page of “the trades” soon enough. These are not official announcements, but only Screen Rant predictions — just as Nostradamus predicted the Black Death and Hitler.
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1. Cannonball Run: Instead of the aging Rat Pack mixing with Burt Reynolds’ crew, you’re going to end up with the Will Farrell clique racing cross-country against Seth Rogan and company with Judd Apatow directing. Throw in cameos by Kevin Smith and Super Dave Osbourne, and it’s a wonder this isn’t in production right now.
2. 976-EVIL: As the only 80s horror franchise not assaulted by Rob Zombie, this phone-themed demonic possession vehicle could update itself with a satanic iPhone app that causes anyone who uses it to become a slightly more pretentious knob than every other iPhone owner.
3. Ernest Goes to Camp: Just recast the late Jim Varney and you have a series of hits here. But, we may have to remove this from the list as it’s possible the Larry the Cable Guy franchise is more or less feeding this hunger.
4. Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo: No, they’re not even going to bother remaking the original Breakin’. They’ll skip right over it because the only part of either film anyone remembers is the back end of this movie’s title.
5. My Dinner with Andre: The only difference for the remake of this insufferable pile of self-important navel gazing disguised as a movie will be casting. The new faces wasting a couple of hours of film by yacking over dinner? A resurgent Vin Diesel and a wise-cracking CGI marmoset voiced by Dane Cook.
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24 Comments
What’s scary is some of those are very believable.
Drop Dead Fred was awful, but still rather watch that than a new version with Brand in. Besides, knowing him he’d be the invisible friend humping chair legs.
You’ve left out some of my all time favorites:
Howard the Duck
Ghoulies
Masters of the Universe
Meatballs
Vibe
Burglar (Whoopie Goldberg anyone?)
Ice Pirates
I mean any of these has the potential to rock our remake, er, reboot world. If they did Meatballs I’m pretty sure Corey Feldman would be still be in it.
I always thought Cannonball Run would make a decent remake considering all of the actors available now and all of the cars.
OH OH OH how about the remake “CONDORMAN”!!!!!
Russell Brand would be PERFECT for the role of Fred
I can imagine a right old dog’s dinner being made of Weird Science, Krull, or The Lost Boys (didn’t someone consider redoing that recently or was I dreaming?).
Walwus, Howard The Duck HAS to be a CGI Andy Serkis. Directed by Darren Aronofsky.
Then there’s Tarantino on Killer Klowns From Outer Space, or maybe a remake of Blue Velvet with Ben Stiller as Frank Booth. It’d be post modern, you know.
You had me laughing right up until you included “My Dinner With Andre.” This is a widely praised film by one of the best directors of the latter half of the 20th century, and a personal favorite of mine. I’m sorry if no one dies and nothing gets blown up.
Rob Zombie only assaulted 1 80s horror franchise.
Ooooooooohhh, then there’s Hawk The Slayer. And Scarface with Vin Diesel. American Gigolo with Ben Affleck. Just stab me now.
Big Trouble in Little China
destined to be “re-envisioned”…
Just to clarify, Big Trouble in Little China is not a bad movie. Just destined to be remade…
I can’t believe I am saying this, but I actually have fond memories of Cannonball Run. OR is that Smokey and the Bandit (when is THAT going to be “rebooted”? George Clooney with a Prius anyone?). Anyway, CR could be a fun remake since it is not a great movie to begin with.
Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if they remade “Every Which Way buy Loose”. Also, what was that movie with John RItter and Pam Dawber where they get sucked into the TV? That has FOX written all over it.
Andy S, that was Stay Tuned.
Hahah. I have no idea why… but I loved Drop Dead Fred. But to remake it, is just stupid.
The creator of Ernest is doing a re-make but not ernest- Denton Rose is kinda the same but looks different dentonrose.com has the scoop
Loved Stay Tuned. Especially the various shows that came on – Different Strokes and Wayne’s Underworld.
Have to admit I did enjoy the Cannonball movies when a kid, especially the ending outtakes. Of course it had quite a good cast name wise – with Roger Moore and Jackie Chan as lesser characters in one – and I’m sure a remake would just get an array of C list stars.
Also, I love Krull to bits, but a remake could be interesting. Especially if it could be given more of a dirty dozen vibe by letting us get to know the outlaws better.
I usually hate remakes, and I fear the day these classics are remaded and ruined:
Wargames
Ferris Buller’s Day Off
Spies Like Us
The Goonies
The Three Amigos
Labyrinth
The Neverending Story
The Secret of NIMH
The Princess Bride
The Dark Crystal
As for bad 80’s movies they could always redo Space Camp, Leaf Phoenix can ever come back as one of the teachers if they can convince him to do movies again
Drop Dead Fred (the “original”!) came out in 1991, therefore it’s NOT an ’80s movie any more than Indecent Proposal, Cop and a Half, or Richie Rich were (nor was Reagan President, or probably coherent, at that point); you’re right in pointing our how much it totally sucked (think that era’s Freddie Got Fingered ;( ), though, so congrats on that…
I rather liked Drop Dead Fred.
dude, drop dead fred was not an 80s movie and reagan was not president when it came out. and for the record i think your the only one under the sun who finds russell brand unfunny. you must be a republican
@Ian
I’m betting you arrived here from Digg. Hence the Republican comment.
Vic
People who don’t like Brand really aren’t that rare.
Yeah for Drop Dead Fred. Blah for Russel Brand. However, if it’s to be anyone it’s to be him.
Redo Howard the Duck next… and Ferris B. is a classic, you can never remake that movie!!!
I was just looking for Drop Dead Fred DVD on the web. Personally I was excited to find out someone’s remaking Drop Dead Fred(1991). I think it would be cool for Jim Carrie to star as Fred. I’m a 80’s baby. I also want to see someone remake Beetlejuice.
you can’t remake Ernest Goes to Camp it would not be as funny as it was in the 80’s
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