If you could choose to trade lives with any character in the history of science fiction, who would it be? Before you spend too much time thinking about it, let me just stop you right there. If you didn’t pick The Doctor from Doctor Who, well, I’m sorry to say that you’re wrong.
As any Whovian will tell you, you can’t get much cooler than The Doctor, and it doesn’t matter which iteration of the character you’re talking about, either. From the long-scarved 4th Doctor to the bow tie-wearing 11th Doctor, everyone’s favorite Timelord has been a beacon of sci-fi awesomeness for 50 years.
Of course, it’s not just the character of Doctor Who that is appealing, but the world in which he inhabits. While most of us go about our lives waiting in bleak hope for something fun to happen on the weekend (after we finish up that extra work from the office, of course), The Doctor is constantly on adventures throughout time and space.
Naturally, there would be downsides to switching lives with The Doctor. For instance, it probably doesn’t feel too good to know that you’re the last of your kind (and that you were responsible for killing the rest of your species). Nor would it be a laugh to stare down a Dalek or Weeping Angel. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that The Doctor’s life is WAY better than most of ours, and to prove it, I put together a list.
Without further ado, here are the “10 Reasons Why The Doctor’s Life is Better Than Yours.”
10. He looks great in a fez
With the notable exception of Sallah from Indiana Jones, nobody can pull off a fez like The Doctor. Even if River and Amy think it looks stupid, we all know that it’s awesome and we secretly want to wear one. Unfortunately, wearing a fez to work (even on casual friday) is “disruptive to the office environment.” Well screw you, Mr. Boss! I want to be like The Doctor!
9. He’s got a Sonic Screwdriver
Plenty of guys love nothing more than to spend the day at Home Depot looking at new power tools. I’m not one of them, but I get the appeal. Fixing things gives you a sense of accomplishment and purpose, which is why anybody who watches Doctor Who has to feel a little jealous of The Doctor’s endlessly useful Sonic Screwdriver. It’s like the world’s coolest Swiss army knife, and only The Doctor (or very special companions) gets to use it. Suddenly your new table saw doesn’t seem so cool, does it?
8. He’s been to the end of the universe and back
Most of us won’t be lucky enough to see all 50 states, let alone travel through time and space, but that’s what The Doctor does every day. A space pioneer, The Doctor regularly explores new worlds and new dimensions. He’s been backward and forward in time so much it would make Doc Emmet Brown’s head spin. While you’re sharing slides of your trip to the world’s largest ball of twine, The Doctor is recounting what it was like watching Mt. Vesuvius explode. Not much of a contest.
7. He once married Marilyn Monroe
In the 11th Doctor’s first Christmas special, The Doctor seemingly marries Marilyn Monroe (in an off-screen scene that most people probably forgot about). Whether or not he actually went through with the wedding is irrelevant. The point is that he actually had a chance with one of the world’s most famous sex symbols. And you know, Marilyn isn’t the first woman to fall for The Doctor, either. If The Doctor were more of a cad, he could spend all of his travels simply wooing history’s most beautiful ladies. That sure beats Singles Night at the local bowling alley..
6. He’s got the coolest vehicle ever
The next time you roll your 1994 Toyota Tercel into the auto shop to replace some God-forsaken piece of your engine, try not to think about The Doctor and his magnificent TARDIS. Don’t think of its charming police box exterior, or its mind-bogglingly complex interior. Don’t think of how awesome it was in human form during Neil Gaiman’s “The Doctor’s Wife” episode. And, most importantly, don’t think about how it can take you any place or any time you want to go to. You’ll just depress yourself.
5. He’s got the best friends in the world
The Doctor has a knack for bringing out the best in people, but it’s pretty safe to say that his friends (or companions) are already pretty great. Even when they’re annoying at first (Mickey) or distrustful (Rory), they always come through in some heroic way when it matters. Maybe you’ve got a friend who would risk his life for you, but The Doctor has dozens of them. Quite simply, The Doctor has the best friends in the world.
4. He’s got 13 lives
Most of us spend our short time on earth trying to fight off the inevitability of death. It’s always “Don’t eat that, you’ll get heart disease!” or “Don’t you know that stuff will kill you?” The Doctor doesn’t have to worry about all that. As a Timelord, he can regenerate 12 times for a total of 13 lives. Granted, he’s starting to push the limit, but he’s still probably going to outlive all of us by hundreds of years. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing is debatable, but it certainly allows him to take chances that normal people couldn’t.
3. He doesn’t have to work
The Doctor doesn’t have to worry about such trivialities as paying a mortgage or making a car payment. In fact, The Doctor doesn’t even have a job. If he really needs money (though it’s hard to imagine a circumstance in which he would), he can just go back in time and buy a future winning lotto ticket. He’s just a mad man with a box, and that’s why he’s so brilliant.
2. He had a robot dog
In the 1970s, The Doctor had a robot pet dog named K-9. Not only was K-9 adorable, but he was also a hugely helpful companion, even returning with Sarah Jane Smith to help the 10th Doctor out of a tight jam. Is The Doctor’s life really better because he can have a robot dog, and you can’t? Maybe not, but there’s no denying that K-9 is perhaps the cutest robot animal in the history of television, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little bit jealous that you couldn’t have him for your own.
1. He’s The Doctor
If you’ve made it this far, then you’ve probably accepted that The Doctor’s life is better than yours. But the truth is, that’s a good thing. If he weren’t getting into all kinds of “timey-wimey, spacey-wacey” situations each week, we wouldn’t have anything fun to do on Saturday nights. Simply put, The Doctor’s life is more interesting, exciting, and fulfilling than ours because it has to be. Nobody wants to watch a TV show about a regular working stiff. They want action and adventure, and The Doctor delivers it in spades. It’s why we love him, and it’s why we he’s a cultural institution.
Doctor Who returns to BBC and BBC America Saturday in the amazingly titled episode “Let’s Kill Hitler.” It’s been a long wait for diehard Who fans, who still have lots of unanswered questions about the first-half of Season 6. I’m extremely excited to see where Steven Moffat takes the show after some jaw-dropping revelations in the mid-season finale “A Good Man Goes to War.”
Check out Screen Rant Saturday night following the episode for our review. In the meantime, feel free to debate what other things make The Doctor’s life so awesome in the comments.