What’s a good superhero story without some obstacles? A guy like Superman might just be the most powerful entity on the planet, but if he doesn’t occasionally run up against a kryptonite wall, then it really takes a lot of the drama out of his various conflicts. Even still, there is a limit to the narrative contributions of injuries in the case of most superheroes. After all, if Batman is getting his back broken by every thug with a ski mask and a gun, then you’re going to start wondering if he should really be suiting up night after night.
That’s not the case with Deadpool. His healing factor is so strong – even by superhero standards – that the vast majority of his tactics involve getting blown up, torn apart, and shot in order to deprive his opponents of their confidence and ammunition. While you can usually rest assured that Deadpool is going to get absolutely destroyed at least once an issue, there are some times when Wade Wilson suffers such great pain that you have to think even he wishes that he had chosen an alternate strategy. If many of these absolutely brutal injuries read like deaths to you…well, there’s a reason they call him Deadpool.
15. Deadpool Gets Gored By an Elephant While Trying to Kill Theodore Roosevelt
The great thing about Deadpool is that he’s Marvel’s ultimate utility for absurdity. Whenever a writer comes up with an idea that is undeniably awesome – but perhaps not quite right for the noble heroes of the Marvel universe – Deadpool can always be called in to become the star of the show. For instance, Marvel decided that they wanted to have a gang of former United States presidents return to Earth as zombies. Naturally, Deadpool is called in to stop this threat.
In typical Deadpool fashion, he took an unreasonable degree of pleasure in this unfortunate assignment. Unfortunately, his enthusiasm proved to be his undoing when he took on Theodore Roosevelt while the former president was hunting big game. Unaware of his surroundings, Deadpool was quickly caught by an elephant, who proceeded to use its massive tusks to gore the merc with a mouth and turn our hero’s innards into outwear.
14. A Pacifist Version of Deadpool Has His Head Ripped Off by Apocalypse
To make a very long story short, Deadpool once teamed up with the X-Men at a time when some radicals were trying to resurrect Apocalypse. Somewhere along the way, the Avengers were called in to help settle a debate regarding whether or not the innocent vessel that was to be used as the host for Apocalypse should be murdered or not. During the process, Apocalypse is revived and the heroes of the Marvel universe become villains, while the villains become heroes.
This puts Deadpool in an awkward spot. While technically a hero, Deadpool’s oppressive and violent nature means that when his disposition was altered, he became a pacifist who pleaded with everyone to put aside their violent ways. Apocalypse, a man notorious for ignoring such pleas, decided to rip Deadpool’s head off his shoulders while his body and head continued to plead for reason.
13. Captain America Kicks Deadpool in the Crotch as Hard as He Can
Captain America isn’t the absolute strongest hero in the Marvel universe, but the man does list super strength under the skills section of his resume. If Cap walked up in the face and hit you, it’s not like you would stand there and say, “Wow, I’m glad that wasn’t the Hulk.” The point here is that Steve Rogers can cause some serious physical damage when he intends to.
Someone should have reminded Deadpool about this tidbit, because he seemingly forgot it when he decided to kick Captain America in the crotch for fun. While we wouldn’t label the Rogers as being the vengeful sort, there are some things a man just can’t let down. So, Captain decided to get a little payback one issue by kicking Deadpool as hard as he could straight in the same region. While the full extent of the damage done wasn’t explicitly stated, we’re willing to bet that Deadpool was left wishing his healing factor worked a bit faster.
12. Deadpool Breaks All His Bones To Escape Chains
Is it technically possible to kill Deadpool? We supposed that you could dream up some elaborate scenario involving volcanoes and explosives that trap him in a perpetual loop of death. Most villains in the know, however, understand that your best bet is to stall Deadpool with an elaborate trap that will get him off your back for awhile.
One of the best examples of this technique occurred in “Deadpool #43” when Wade Wilson found himself suspended in the air trapped by an elaborate series of chains. Unable to cut off his limbs and slide out, Deadpool had to resort to a far more medieval method. Specifically, he had to break all of his bones in a very specific order so that he could eventually escape the predicament he found himself in. Even for a hero with regenerative abilities, you know he felt that one.
11. Ant-Man Causes Deadpool to Shoot Himself Repeatedly
Deadpool often runs afoul of the rest of the Marvel universe. It’s not so much that he stands in direct opposition to their goals, but rather that he can’t help but upset even Earth’s greatest heroes. His tendency to get on the bad side of some of the most powerful individuals on the planet often leads to some of Deadpool’s most painful injuries, but few would suspect that one of Wade Wilson’s most unfortunate mishaps would have come at the hands of Ant-Man.
Yet, when Deadpool faced Ant-Man, he, unfortunately, was unable to stop the pint-sized hero from entering his body. Once inside, Ant-Man was able to control Deadpool’s limbs and force him to shoot himself several times. Of course, this being Deadpool and all, it’s likely that a few of those shots came from the man himself as he tried to stop the intruder.
10. Deadpool Uses a Grenade to Give Readers an Inside Look at His Chest Cavity
While opinions vary on the quality of the main Civil War run, many agree that the crossover’s side stories are some of the best one-offs – or mini-series – that Marvel produced during that era. Those side stories really gave us perspective on just how much the superhuman registration act had impacted all corners of the Marvel universe.
For instance, Deadpool spent his time during Civil War fighting for the side of Iron Man and the rest of the registration brigade – probably because he is a man without shame – which included a run-in with the Great Lake Avengers. Because Deadpool doesn’t believe in half measures, he decided to invade a building the Great Lake crew were occupying and turn himself into a human bomb. This resulted in Deadpool temporarily sporting a hole in his chest that served as a window to some rather gory visuals.
9. Deadpool Slowly Regrows His Body Back From Just His Right Hand
How good is Deadpool’s regenerative ability? Well, there’s actually some debate regarding whether or not it’s stronger than Wolverine’s healing factor, but what isn’t up for debate is Deadpool’s willingness to put himself in situations where he is able to truly test the extent of his healing powers. For instance, most heroes wouldn’t find themselves in a position to see if they could survive being gored by an elephant, as we saw earlier.
There was also the time that Deadpool was “killed” and someone decided to hold a funeral for the fallen hero by burying nothing but his right hand. While Deadpool was in the afterlife putting the moves on Death, his body slowly started to regrow from his right hand. Unfortunately, Deadpool regained consciousness relatively early into this process, and he was forced to endure the entire ordeal.
8. Deadpool Gets a Chainsaw/Sword Shoved Through his Chest
Look, we’re not logistical experts on the full pain level of certain weapons, but we do know that getting hit by a sword would hurt. Similarly, we can assume that someone taking a chainsaw to your body would also cause ample amounts of pain. What is less certain is whether or not a hybrid weapon – say, a chainsaw/sword – would cause double the amount of pain that either weapon would, or whether the whole thing becomes irrelevant the moment you realize any combination of those weapons would kill you instantly.
However, the glorious series known as Deadpool Kills Deadpool does indicate that if you happen to have the kind of healing powers that ensure you can’t be killed instantly by a sword/chainsaw hybrid, then the superweapon likely does cause a super amount of pain. Hey, the simple fact that Deadpool flinched when one was shoved through his chest indicates that it’s at least mildly unpleasant.
7. Wolverine Eviscerates Deadpool (Again and Again)
The Wolverine/Deadpool rivalry really is one of the greatest gives the fine folks at Marvel have ever bestowed upon us. That said, the rivalry settled into a fairly familiar formula long ago. Deadpool mouths off at Wolverine because he knows that he will ultimately survive whatever punishment Logan decides to dish out, and Wolvie looks to inflict just enough pain as to ensure that Deadpool regrets his decisions.
While Wolverine never comes up short on creative ways to inflict pain, his go-to method for shutting Deadpool up involves him eviscerating the merc with a mouth as slowly as possible. Over the years, he’s found some impressive ways to hone his techniques. For instance, he might hoist Deadpool into the air first and slowly move his claw hands outward. Regardless of the specific technique, the one thing that never changes is just how much these confrontations have to hurt.
6. Deadpool Starves to Death Over and Over Again For 900 Years
We’re stretching the term industry here a bit, but if we’re going to talk about Deadpool’s most painful experiences, it’s impossible to overlook just how brutal this particular moment was. It all began when he learned that a nuclear war was about to end the world. Because Deadpool is a survivor first and foremost, he decided to hide out in an industrial refrigerator that he assumed would protect him from the blast. While it did protect him, the resulting fallout from the blast meant that he was now trapped inside of a refrigerator for the foreseeable future.
All told, Deadpool spent about 900 years in that refrigerator before he was rescued. During that time, we know that Wade went crazy – even by his standards – but we’re also left to assume that he eventually entered a period where he was constantly starving to death before being revived so he could starve to death again.
5. Hulk Vaporizes Deadpool With His Fists
Have you ever wondered what would happen if a regular person tried to fight the Hulk? As in if you walked up to the Hulk, insulted his mother or some other relation, and then decided to kick him in the shin. One might imagine that such an occurrence would result in said regular person enduring a world of pain. As Hulk so rarely destroys civilians, however, we’re left to assume what the worst he can do entails.
If your imagination isn’t enough to satisfy your morbid curiosity, then you can always take a look at the time that Deadpool decided to fight Hulk. While Deadpool might be nearly invincible in the long-term, he’s otherwise just as susceptible to extreme violence at the moment of impact. What that means is that Hulk not only punched Deadpool so hard that he was basically vaporized, but that he even took the time to rip him apart a few times for good measure.
4. Deadpool Chews Through His Own Arm to Get Revenge Over a Probing Incident
Probes and alien abductions go together like mayonnaise and french fries. Both are seemingly unfortunate combinations that nevertheless have become cultural staples. Nobody’s entirely sure what aliens are trying to accomplish with probes, but they do seem to love using them. Deadpool discovered this the hard way when he was abducted by some extraterrestrial beings, who soon proceeded to use that most famous of tools on our favorite sarcastic hero.
Now, that’s one of those things that Deadpool just can’t abide. In an effort to not only escape his predicament but get revenge on his assailants, Deadpool proceeds to chew his own arm off – rather than the restraints, mind you – and then use his now severed arm to beat up his alien captors while he’s still restrained. That’s Deadpool for you; never a say never type.
3. Deadpool Allows Himself to Be Eaten by a Horde of Zombies
All things considered, you’d think that Deadpool would fare pretty well against a horde of zombies. In fact, a shambling army of easily decapitated foes seems like just the kind of enemy that Deadpool would love to take on. However, as the memorable Night of the Living Deadpool series taught us, even Wade Wilson can only accomplish so much by going up against an army of zombies. At some point, the numbers are just too great.
However, Deadpool does eventually find a way to solve the zombie crisis. With the help of some scientists, Deadpool creates a serum that will remove the zombies’ desire for human flesh. In order to infect them with this serum, he allows himself to be eaten by a horde of zombies. Given how this process is portrayed in the average Romero film, we’re guessing this wasn’t a pleasant experience.
2. Carnage Slowly Dissects Deadpool
Carnage is a bad man. Ever since he was introduced, Marvel writers have used him as a vessel for some of their most violent ideas. Carnage is one of those Marvel villains less interested in wealth or world domination; he just wants to cause as much pain as possible with the superpowers at his disposal. The only problem is that most of his victims die the moment that he lays his hands on them.
That’s obviously not the case with the merc with a mouth. In Deadpool, Carnage found a victim that doubled as a kind of gore infinity pool. When Carnage ran up against Deadpool, he proceeded to slowly dissect him. While our hero has enjoyed such a treatment before, this particular rendition of the old “Dissect Deadpool” tune featured some of the most graphic frames that Marvel’s artists have ever “treated” readers to.
1. Deadpool Flays Himself to Save a Friend
Now, we don’t want to leave you with the impression that Deadpool is strictly a bad guy. He is a lot of the time, but there have been just as many instances of Wade Wilson serving as a bonafide hero. Granted, most of these instances featured Deadpool making sarcastic comments while utilizing ultraviolence in order to win the day, but in a world that is constantly in need of heroes, we’re not prepared to split hairs regarding the details of Deadpool’s heroics.
The essential example of Deadpool’s heroic stylings may just be the time that his good “friend” Archangel contracted a particularly aggressive form of cancer during a battle and was slowly fading away. Deadpool quickly recognized that the only way that Archangel was going to survive the night is if he received the proper nutrition. In this case, the proper nutrition meant that Deadpool needed to shave off his own skin with a knife and slowly feed it to his buddy. Would Wolverine do that? Probably, but he didn’t.
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