Candy Land, Monopoly, Battleship and Stretch Armstrong Updates

Published 5 years ago by , Updated February 10th, 2012 at 8:16 am,

hasbro header Candy Land, Monopoly, Battleship and Stretch Armstrong Updates

Well the 2009 summer movie season is over for Hasbro and it has been financially successful. Transformers 2 has milked the entire world economy of over $800 million dollars, while G.I. Joe managed to drain the globe of $100 million this past weekend.  So what does that mean for Hasbro their future releases?

Well Steve “Frosty” Weintraub over at Collider managed to catch Brian Goldner, President and C.E.O of Hasbro, before a special screening of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra and got some interesting answers about a few upcoming projects: Stretch Armstrong, Candy Land, Battleship and Monopoly.

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STRETCH ARMSTRONG

First up is Stretch Armstrong, the toy no one played with (seriously do you know anyone that owned one when you were a kid?). According to Goldner, Stretch will be the first movie released out of the lot, with a planned release of 2011. Now I know what you are thinking, what could this movie possibly be about? When asked, Goldner answered with this gem:

“Stretching as a superpower brings a lot of humor to the idea so imagine a big humorous super-powered, super-human kind of movie.”

Sigh, so to sum it up ‘We have no idea what we are doing with this but stretching is funny and my assistant once got his hand stuck in the vending machine trying to get a bag of chips that didn’t fall all the way. So we will probably have that in the movie.”

Seriously, how much of a generic answer can you give during an interview? I picture Patrick Warburton playing Stretch and Universal turning it into an Underdog meets The Tick-type action film for kids. Actually, now that I think about it, Warburton would be a great choice and I might actually go see this film if they choose him to star.

warburton armstrong Candy Land, Monopoly, Battleship and Stretch Armstrong Updates

I can’t be too far off with the “humor” Goldner is referring to. Steve Oderkirk is writing the script for Stretch Armstrong. He also wrote Bruce Almighty, Barnyard, Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, and Nutty Professor 2, so I bet you a dollar to donuts that there is more than one hand/foot/head stuck in a elevator/car door/briefcase/trunk type scene where he gets stretch to the breaking point and people walking/riding bikes/carrying heavy objects trip and fall on said appendage – COMEDY GOLD!!!

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CANDY LAND

Let’s move on to my favorite board games growing up, Chutes and Ladders Candy Land. Hasbro and Universal have already chosen writer Etan Cohen (Tropic Thunder) and director Kevin Lima (Enchanted) to make their board game dream a reality. The Collider interviewer asks the tough question: “What’s your take on a film like “Candy Land?” Goldner’s lackluster response is as follows:

“Well, “Candy Land” is not just about the board game.  If you really think about it, it’s an adventure that a kid goes on with his parents when they go across that board.  It’s an adventure game so think of that as the beginning point and take off from there.”

candyland image Candy Land, Monopoly, Battleship and Stretch Armstrong Updates

Ok, hold please while I “really think about it”… Nope I don’t see it but if I’m reading between his lines properly, and I’m pretty sure I am, they have no idea what they are going to do with this property either. More than likely, it’ll be turned into a Jumanji/Adventure of Elmo mash up. Two kids, a brother and his precocious younger sister, get a board game for Christmas from their eccentric estranged uncle. They beg their parents to play with them and are transported to a magical Willy Wonka-type world where getting to King Kandy is the only way home. Along the way they met Gramma Nutt, Princess Frostine and dodge the evil Licorice Lord and his henchman Gloppy the Molasses Monster.Oh yeah, and the whole thing will be in 3-D.

Good gravy, I wasn’t even trying and I just made up a script for them to use (they can send all payments to my PayPal account).

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TAGS: battleship, candyland, monopoly, Stretch Armstrong

16 Comments

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  1. Candy Land movie!?

  2. I can’t wait for Checkers The Motion Picture.Or maybe Hollywood will finally get around to making that epic,Watching Paint Dry.Wow,now that screams non stop action.

    Maybe they should try bringing Sorry to the big screen.That would most adequately describe what these films are,Sorry.

  3. You can make a good movie out of anything. For example, a rich man hounds the criminal underclass because he misses his mommy. Do I want to see Ridley Scott make a movie about real estate moguls vying for power, using any means at their disposal? Well, yeah; if he needs to use place names like Park Place and Baltimore Ave. to get it done, then so what?

  4. Stretch Armstrong- OK

    BattleSHip 3D where u can play along with the movie

    Monopoly – No Comment

    Candyland – Maybe

    Slated next will be:

    Chess :Knight Takes King

    Etch-A-Sketch: Sketch to Survive

    and Boggle 3D

  5. Candyland is the only one of these that seems feasible to me. It actually has characters, and a whole world to work with, even if it doesn’t possess that much of a story. I like the idea of the brother and sister (lose the parents, Paul) wandering through Candyland to try and get back home. It has that Wizard of Oz feel to it and is likely the sell the best out of any of these.

    Stretch Armstrong might work if Patrick Warburton is involved (great idea, btw) but the other two stand no chance at making decent films, even with somebody like Ridley Scott directing.

    • Too bad we now know Taylor lautner will be Stretch… Patrick Warburton would have been a much better choice. I actually met Patrick Warburton before. He’s very cool and very nice. He actually recorded my voicemail thing on my cell phone for me haha

  6. @Josh R

    in response to the Wizard of Oz feel, I get the sense its going to be closer to Hanzel and Gretel.

  7. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (while head is spinning around

  8. I kinda want to say that hopefully hasbro lands on “go directly to jail, do not pass go and collect our money and we swallowed the key so SORRY”… But i want to see TF3 so after that hopefully it happens.

  9. I agree with JoshR.The man speeketh the truth

  10. Ill im taking from this is that people are trying to make money off anything right now. No more original ideas it seems. Scraping the bottom of the barrel on these ones. Ridley Scott needs to make Aliens prequel not thinking about monopoly.

  11. How about a Twister movie? But it’d probably be a porno…

    Anyway, his answers were bogus haha he certainly knows how to dodge questions and sound stupid, but I like the Candy Land plan to be honest. Johnny Depp as Lord Licorice!!

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