I’ve been whining about the number of remakes and 3D movies that are coming out these days.  My cry?  Why oh why must we suffer this era of unorginality?  Well, criminey…  sometimes you just have to be careful what you ask for.

Despite the remake era, we’ve still had to suffer through many a computer game based movie and of course, now we’re seeing our toys coming to life and kicking our own butts.

Well, good news… sort of.  OK, maybe not.  Universal has signed up with Hasbro to bring some of their board games to life on the silver screen.  Yeah.  Oh goody.

Board Game Movies?

There was a movie sometime back called Clue starring Tim Curry.  I never saw it, but Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 74% rating.  It must have been OK.  There was also Jumanji, that had a fictional board game that went awry, much like the movie did.  Don’t get me going about all the botches of Dungeons and Dragons, though The Hobbit did that genre justice.

But Universal is looking to bring some games to life:  Ouija, Monopoly, Candy Land, Battleship, Magic: The Gathering, and Stretch Armstrong.  Yeah, Stretch Armstrong.  Oh my.

The Ouija board movie has been said to have Michael Bay at the helm.  No details have been released, but I conjecture that this could work if they head down some mystic unseen forces, communicating with the dead path… like Ghost Whisperer.  And with Michael Bay at the helm, I’m not worried about it.  It should be at least digestible.

A Monopoly movie, which will potentially be headed by Ridley Scott might be interesting.  Monopoly has had a ton of different themes though I can’t imagine watching someone get beat down with a tiny little wheel barrel.  OK, maybe some sort of real estate comedy could come of this?

The studio has lined up Ethan Cohen to write and Kevin Lima to direct a live-action version of Candy Land.  Maybe they could be a documentary about the dangers of sugar highs.  God knows I have enough of those.

I just can’t wrap my mind around Battleship.  Am I that unimaginative?  Giant pegs falling out of the sky taking out your Battleship?  Actually, there’s a version of Battleship played on Google Earth using GPS units and cell phones!

Magic: The Gathering has tons of potential with lots of action and adventure.  if they were to get the right people behind this one, it could work out.  But you know how that goes.  The production companies trip over dollars to save pennies.  They’ll staff it with some beginner production crew and nab some young actors and you’ll have just one more of many drab movies.

I don’t even want to touch on Stretch Armstrong.

Let’s Have Some Fun:

So how about a nice action flick based on Risk?  It would be like a Jack Ryan political drama.  What about Jacks or Pick up Sticks?  They could be martial arts flicks and they could be the weapons of choice, like throwing stars!  Or the consummate battle of wits and mind in the epic Mah Jongg!!  Or Jenga, when the world comes tumbling down!

In The End:

This whole premise doesn’t keep me on the edge of my seat.  I’m not sure if anyone can pull all these ideas off.  At least not well enough to make it worth Universal’s while.

Sources:  EW.com, NY Times, Variety,