Screen Rant’s Kofi Outlaw Reviews Battleship
Let’s just get this out of the way up front: Battleship the movie has little to do with the Hasbro board game that it is based on – other than the fact that it involves Naval battle on the high seas. What we get instead is a slice of popcorn summer fun from director Peter Berg (Hancock, The Kingdom); a movie that unabashedly celebrates the valor of the men and women of the armed forces.
The story revolves around Alex Hopper (John Carter star Taylor Kitsch), a smart, capable, and totally reckless young man who is chaperoned by his older brother and guardian, Navy Commander Stone Hopper (Alexander Skarsgård). One faithful night, while celebrating his birthday in a local bar, Alex meets Sam (Brooklyn Decker), a drop-dead gorgeous girl who wants nothing more than a chicken burrito to fill her stomach. In typical Alex fashion, young Hopper goes to inspired (and reckless) lengths to obtain said burrito; the act of chivalry gets him the girl, but also leaves him facing severe legal consequences. Fed up with caring for an out of control man-child, Stone signs Alex up to join him in the Navy.
Alex’s intellegence helps him quickly rise to the rank of Lieutenant, but his continued recklessness makes him a boderline liability – and the bane of Admiral Shane’s (Liam Neeson) existence. Compounding the problem is the fact that Admiral Shane is also Sam’s father, and the one thing standing between Alex and Sam getting married. As the Hopper brothers take to the sea on their respective destroyers for the Navy’s annual RIMPAC war game exercises, Alex has two missions: prove himself as an effective commanding officer, and secure Admiral Shane’s blessing for his would-be marriage.
The big twist to the story comes when NASA’s probe of distant planets similiar to Earth turns up an unexpected (an unwelcome) response. Without warning, a fleet of extraterrestrial spaceships come crashing into Earth’s atomsphere, damaging their communications equipment along the way. The ships land in the Pacific with a clear military objective in mind: seize the NASA satellite that first contacted them in order to send an invasion order back to their planet. The aliens raise an energy dome over the area to keep out any opposition, trapping Alex, Stone, Sam, and a handful of other military and/or NASA personnel inside the bubble, the only line of defense for all humanity.
Alien Soldier in ‘Battleship’
Battleship follows such a familiar popcorn blockbuster formula – punctuated by flat characters, predictable arcs and big, loud, action – that Peter Berg could rightly be heralded as the second coming of Michael Bay. How much (or how little) you enjoy a Michael Bay-brand action flick, will largely determine how much (or little) you enjoy Battleship - though, to be fair, Berg and Co. add a little more substance to their film.
The story by Erich and Jon Hoeber (RED) offers a standard three-act arc, with the usual smattering of two-dimensional characters to follow and root for. Alex is “the bad boy with a good heart”; Stone is the “uptight responsible guy”; Admiral Shane is the gruff, no-nonsense military leader; Sam is the hot girl with a heart of gold (she’s a physical therapist for crippled vets – such a noble model!); with a couple of one-note characters - the wimpy scientist, a bitter crippled vet – thrown in for good measure. For all the concern about having pop-star Rihanna taking on her first big feature-film role, the singer does a pretty okay job playing the smarmy (and gorgeous) Petty Officer Raikes, whose primary job is firing off sarcastic remarks and occasionally looking tough (but still pretty) as she lets the bullets fly.
The action sequences in the film were concocted by some of the same minds at Industrial Light and Magic who brought Transformers to the big screen – and this is evident in the designs of the aliens, their technology, and in the composition of the action sequences. However, visual flair is arguably the only thing that the Transformers franchise has gotten right, so Battleship is, at the very least, an impressive VFX showcase. In order to bring the loosest sense of connection to the board game that inspired its name, the film does have some great Easter egg moments which make direct reference to the board game. While these nods are implemented fairly well into the story, they are also obvious contrivances meant to justify Habro’s brand recognition cash-grab.
Peter Berg is one of the better action directors working in the business (see: the final act of The Kingdom), and here he takes his repertoire to another level, offering great set pieces on the open water, within the tight confines of a ship, and on land. Berg arguably excels over Bay when it comes to creating engaging context for the moments of action, so that we, the audience, actually care about what is taking place on screen. For instance: when bitter double-amputee Lieutenant Colonel Mick Canales (Gregory D. Gadson) finally gets a chance to prove himself on the battlefield again, we’re actually rooting for him, hard, when the situation could otherwise come off as silly.
Similarly, watching Alex go down the (completely predictable) path of growing into a heroic leader could’ve been a ho-hum affair – but a combination of Kitsch’s charisma and some smart sequencing from Berg make the journey more enjoyable than it probably should be. As if those accomplishments weren’t enough, Berg also dives deep into the patriotism well, drawing up a bucket of good ol’ fashioned military pride that is wholly infectious. By the time it is revealed just how the titular battleship comes into play (because today’s Navy has switched to destroyer warships, we are told in heavy-handed exposition), it’ll be impossible not to smile at a montage of multi-generational military valor and might. The film injects just enough international flavor (like Alex’s rival, captain Yugi Nagata, played by Thor actor Tadanobu Asano) to make the celebration a global affair, so that no one need feel left out.
Brooklyn Decker and Gregory D. Gadson in ‘Battleship’
In the end, Battleship is a movie that is enjoyable beyond expectation, but doesn’t offer much more than the fast-food-style fun of a summer movie spectacle. It surely is a movie best enjoyed in a big theater (alongside other viewers simply out for a bit of fun), but once the end credits roll, you’re not likely to remember it for very long - especially in this crowded slate of 2012 blockbusters.
Well… except, perhaps, when you once again have to wonder what, exactly, a board game with the little plastic boats, red and white pegs, and a two-grid board has to do with all of this alien invasion madness. Only in Hollywood.
Battleship is currently playing in theaters worldwide. It is Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence, action and destruction, and for language.
Loading ...For an in-depth discussion of the film by the Screen Rant team check out our Battleship episode of the SR Underground podcast.
Our Rating:
3 out of 5
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Yes, good review. Saw it back in March here in India, and enjoyed it immensely, though not so much in the first half where there was some cheesy stuff. Loved the action once it began.
Good action…….!!
Pirates of The Caribbean- part7
Wow, 3.5 stars?! Color me surprised
Same here.
I had a chance to see a special screening of this movie last week with Peter Berg introducing it in person(Free BTW) but I passed on it and went a ‘date’ with a friend and saw Dark Shadows. We liked it. Except the innuendo, There were to many kids watching this…
I completly disagree. Battleship was a disaster. If Michael Bay had directed it it would have at least been decent. I honestly could care less about any characters.
Yes, i didn’t feel much for the characters either, with the first half being quite cheesy because of them. Though the action part was great, better than TF2 and TF3 (not TF1 though) imo. Enjoyable film in short.
Mike Bay and directing should not be used in the same sentence. Unless Bay is directing me to where the pull ups are in walmart.
LOL
@cyborg
Yah… I have to agree, I don’t see how someone can complain about this movie and his way of making it “better” is to have Michael Bay direct it… I HATED every character in the Transformers movies. I literally wanted Sam, his skanky girlfriend, his stupid parents, and pretty much every other character in those movies to just die a horrible horrible death…
You lost all credibility when you mentioned Michael Bay’s name.
“A1*!”
“You sank my battleship!”
*Avengers (1)
Is this called Battleship or Transformers 4.
Yugi Nagata??? He’s a big time wrestler!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuji_Nagata
Kofi you were right in the recent underground, I was surprised by this and had fun!
The big twist to the story comes when NASA’s probe of distant planets similiar to Earth turn up an unexpected (an unwelcome) response
Huh? They come here because of a telescope? OK. I would have come up with something different; like the aliens find the first radio transmissions from Earth. Nonetheless, I’m hoping for some good action, not Oscar worthy acting (would be nice but I doubted it would have it in the first place).
Acting is passable and should not even be considered in the review of the film xD But anyway, the action is very good, quite a lot of it as well (my head actually started to hurt by the end thanks to the high amount, or maybe that was unrelated
). Unless you’re gonna be treating the film as anything other than summer popcorn entertainment fare, you’ll have fun. 
@Kahless
I think Kofi means one of those probes NASA keeps sending to explore space and look for planets that could have similar characteristics to Earth. So it is something that happened way out in space and seems cool to me at least.
And about the review, I am truly surprised also, never thought this movie would have quality action in it.
If I find myself wanting to go to the movies this weekend I’ll give it a chance.
Well, the part where the NASA guys explain about their new breakthrough (which leads to the aliens showing up later) is the most cheesy in the movie and at the start of the movie xD
That really doesn’t make much sense to me either. Probes we send out would still be in our neighborhood, and if an advanced race were out there (in our neighborhood), they would have already known about us because we have been using radio longer than we have been sending out probes.
SPOILER ALERT about what Kofi meant by the NASA thing:
NASA sends out a radio signal to another Earth-like planet found by NASA, by amplifying this signal using a satellite. They don’t actually send out a probe. The aliens respond to this radio signal..
You see, anyone with just a teensy bit of understanding knows the fastest thing we have ever had is our radio and tv broadcast signals and by that means we have expanded outwards from our solar system at least 70 light years. As for any “probe”, the only serious candidate would be Voyager One and Voyager Two and from what I understand they have STILL YET TO LEAVE THE SOLAR SYSTEM, leaving some of us to plead, “I’ll go see your film if you just throw some of us a bone”
At what point do they move the little red and white pegs around?
This review is a little confusing, the content is very well written (as expected from Kofi’s reviews), but from what I’ve read, I can’t understand the 3.5 rating (it seems as if a 3 star rating would be more fitting).
Anywho, I’m torn whether I should go see this or not. I’ve been hearing a few good things about the movie, but I’ve also been hearing a lot of bad stuff as well. I’m just wondering if it’s WORTH seeing when I could be watching Avengers again… or MIB3 next week… or maybe just save the money for all the other awesome movies coming out later this year…
Any advice?
Um, if saving money and watching the Avengers again is the case, then skip this. Though if you want some good action with some great set pieces, go for Battleship. Me, I enjoyed Avengers (watched it 5 times) and I enjoyed Battleship as well (and some of the action is actually so good that I could go a second time for Battleship, though that’s about it).
And, considering that MIB2 wasn’t so good, I wouldn’t skip Battleship for MIB3 as the action is Battleship is worth seeing on the big screen, while one could do with watching MIB3 at home as it’s more a comedy film than an action film (but with better acting of course).
You made an excellent point there… thanks.
I’m gonna try my best to squeeze a viewing of Battleship into the schedule, but it’s gonna be tough.
There are just too many good movie this year!
Yeah, try to squeeze it in. Even if you skip it, it’s not that big a loss. I love watching films with a lot of action in the theatres (as long as it’s not mindless), so I loved Battleship. For those with good story and acting, TDKR is next
Don’t forget Prometheus and The Amazing Spider-Man – those are looking pretty awesome as well.
really didn’t enjoy it at best 2 out of 5
The real question is does Rihanna get butt naked while singing “Birthday Cake”? If so, I will suffer thru the movie.
Even if you don’t like the movie, it’s not that bad as to require you to see Rihanna get naked.
But no, no such thing happens, Rihanna is all serious here (though not a good actor).
That was going to be my excuse to see it, but she is being serious…whats the point
I always wonder why pop/rap singers are cast in movies when they have no acting talent. I could also argue they have no musical talent, but obviously someone listens to them or they wouldn’t be so popular. The ONLY reason Rihanna was cast was because of name recognition. Are you telling me there were NO young, black female actresses that could have played (and improved upon) Rihanna’s part? The only 2 reasons I am thinking about seeing this is because of Liam Neeson and the special effects. But it will be a matinee showing in the middle of the week.
Though Liam Neeson isn’t in enough of it to warrant a viewing, the special effects and action surely are. As for Rihanna, yes, she was there for just the heck of it, though she wasn’t as bad as I was expecting her to be.
So… bring the knitting? Or perhaps wait for it on rental. I do hate getting my ear drums melted out at the theater.
I have to say, all the bombardment etc was quite loud in the movie. The thing is, a lot of it was continuous so it felt like too much at some points, what with all the cannons and missiles and what not firing..
Wow, what are you guys, 80 years old? Are we really complaining that a movie was too loud when their 16″ guns were going off, and things were exploding?? That’s the main thing I loved about this movie, it doesn’t lie about how loud these things are in real life. Sure in real life it would have been so loud that we would all be deaf, obviously they cannot make it THAT loud, but they do a great job of conveying that sense of mayhem and how loud it should feel compared to everything else. I REALLY hate it when guns and explosions are very quiet in movies or games. It’s really a pet-peave, it’s like they care more about letting you hear their “clever” dialog spoken at normal volume instead of giving you an accurate representation of the noise in a gunfight. Again, obviously it can’t be as loud as in real life because everyone will have hearing loss, but it should still be loud enough to drown out all other noises including talking. And even in between gunshots the characters really still should need to shout because frankly, your ears will be ringing if you are shooting weapons without hearing protection… Anyway, I personally loved how loud this movie was, but that’s just me…
Trust me, I like lots of loud explosions etc in movies as well. I was just mentioning to him that it is loud in case too much eardrum pounding is something he doesn’t like. I personally liked the great sound + action (even though it did give me a headache).
Plus the addition of the crying baby that some selfish moron always brings to the theatre for the first Monday showing, no matter how I try to avoid it lol. Then again, maybe the constant bombardment would have covered that up, hmmm.
I would rather go see The Avengers for the third time.
Agree.
The Avengers has better action because of the characters and plot.
it was cheesy through out.2/5 for me
Yes, I wouldn’t really give a cheesy movie like this more than 2 either, but i loved the action, so gonna be partial this time and gonna give it a 3/5.
The only reason I want to see this is to see what nods they have to the board game. I have heard the alien missiles/bombs are shaped like the pegs, and there are a few locations called out that are reminiscent to the game. Curious what else is in it, but I think I will be waiting for DVD.
A movie based on a game that has nothing to do withe game Brilliant I’m losing all respect for Liam Neeson
As srs said, Liam had more of a cameo. Once the aliens appear and the action begins, he’s barely seen. He’s more for the drama part here in the beginning than for the action part.
As I once said in another post. I believe the reasoning behind the whole production was for the Battleship vs. Aliens electronic boardgame that will be available for the 2012 holidays at a Toys-R-Us near you!
liam was there for barely 15 minutes.more like a cameo
I enjoyed it for what it was. Yes it was a bit Transformers at sea, but I think we all know with a movie like this that we are not going to get any decent acting.
I think it could actually become a guilty pleasure movie in a few years.
Yeah, while I was a little put off at all times at the cheesiness in the non-action scenes, once the action started, it was quite good. But no, probably won’t become a guilty pleasure for me
I hated it. Bored the skin off my eyes and the drums out of my ears. Throughout I could only think one thing. What is the point? Now, not all movies have to have a point and for the record, I think The Avengers is wonderful as popcorn entertainment (which I presumed Battleship was supposed to be). Every character beat predictable, arcs written in crayon by nursery kids and acting of the ‘is this my best side’ variety. The only good thing I can think of is Neeson realised this, appeared very little and rides off into the sunset with cigar in his mouth and a large paycheque in his pocket. Contempt. Deserved.
This is one movie where, even though I found it okay because of the action, I can’t argue with you. I don’t normally like such movies, but Battleship was okay. Going to be either ‘i liked it enough’ or ‘it was boring/i hated it’ reviews on this one
Tough for others to decide based on people’s opinions 
I read a very interesting take on this story: apparently, it brings a completely different flavour to the film if you view it as “the aliens are not the bad guys, the americans shoot first, the aliens are just protecting themselves after crashing. they were invited to earth by NASA’s probe-message thingy”
Mike E.,
Interesting – I’ll keep that in the back of my mind when I go see it.
Vic
I’m very curious to see this film now, mostly because of this “alternate take” on the story.
it was far more detailed than I just outlined (and of course, since I haven’t seen it yet…).
But apparently some “plot holes” (like an alien not killing some kid or something?) make sense if you view them not as invaders but as explorers who crashed here and had no intention of attacking the Earth.
It also explains some of the (again) “plot holes” regarding their weaponry.
So, anyway, I’m very curious now.
@Mike E
Like I said in my previous reply, these things are probably addressed in some deleted scenes. And I’m pretty sure the reason is not that they are just explorers. To me it looked more like they had a very specific objective and was focused more on that than on simply killing people. Or that they needed people for some part of their plan. It’s not like they tried real hard to communicate with people even when they were not being attacked, they did kill people without hesitation sometimes but not other times. So I really do think that maybe there will be more explanation in deleted scenes, which means we’ll have to wait until the DVD/Blu-Ray comes out to find out, lol.
@Mike E.
I think we need to see the deleted scenes. There was a lot about that movie that went unexplained. A line that you hear in the trailers but doesn’t appear in the movie is: “Why don’t they just kill us?” Which tells me that their mission here is explained but for some reason was deleted from the theatrical cut. There were a lot of times where it seemed they have a very specific objective and was only going for that, but this was never really explained…
I actually had a similar thought about the film with the way the red/green targeting is used – and I fully intend to talk about it on this week’s podcast. I think it’s a major plothole in the film – it should have been clearer one way or the other. The ambiguity made it downright distracting.
I dug it. It’s a summer action movie and not a submission at a stuffy art film festival.
It delivers on its promises of action and awesome visuals with enough character development and story to not make it pure bubblegum.
I will be seeing it again in a theater this weekend.
Transformers At Sea
Actually, that would be pretty bad*ss. Imagine an aircraft carrier transforming into a robot or an old battleship with the 16″ guns. That’d be pretty sweet. As long as we didn’t have humping robots, that is.
Agreed, when I saw the trailers I thought the same thing. From the visuals, the way the film is shot (at least from what I can tell from the trailers), and the sound effects all remind me that the people who brought you Transfomers made this and it appears they used a lot of the assets from those movies. I refuse to see this movie and not support how pathetically hollywood has run out of ideas, and will now adapt anything into a movie. (Steps off soapbox)
isaw it last night at the midnight showing. it was a blast. IMO, i gave it a 9/10 because i enjoyed it for what it offered. i was cheering along with the theater crowd when the elder crew members joined in the fray. it was like a tribute to the naval seamen of old and present wrapped in a popcorn movie. i found their clever ways of putting the game pieces as the alien weapons, and how the grid came into play. it was great. i had a great time at the movies. ill prob forget this movie in a week, but the experience i had while viewing it was fun, loud, and just a good time.
A perfectly considered review.
The one thing I’m somewhat confused by is whether I liked this so much more than the tediously appalling TF1/2/3 because Peter Berg comes across so well – in Dinner for Five he is an independent movie hero. He is no Hollywood robot, he’s the real deal. Has that swayed my opinion?
I don’t think so. This is just a better class of popcorn movie, in the same way that Independence Day was a brilliant yet absurdly cheesy popcorn movie.
I wouldn’t call this better than TF1, but yes, it was better than TF2 and TF3 by a clear mile. No crass comedy, no mish-mash action where it’s hard to know what’s on screen, no idiotic characters, etc. Okay, it was cheesy, but I’ll take cheesy any day over the points noted about TF2 and TF3 above.
Battleship surely = better class of popcorn movie like you said.
TF1 was better in my opinion than Battleship, but TF2 and TF3? no thank you
rihannas acting was so bad in this..
This movie needs to have chance of a sequel being made killed.
you know, you COULD just not go see it?
what’s wrong with letting other people derive pleasure from a fun action flick?
I bet you’re the first one to call someone who disagrees with you “troll”.
Here, let me try: I think The Dark Knight is incredibly over-rated and boring.
Yeah, I wonder why everyone wants to see a movie like The Dark Knight or The Avengers these days. There are still cheesy movies like Battleship, agreed, but it’s good to have everything (as long as it doesn’t get cheap or crass). Battleship’s action really is fun. Okay, so it’s based on a board game but has no actual semblance to it, but is that supposed to decide whether the film is watchable or not? Of course not.
I’ll follow in your example and call out another film: Iron Man 2. 2 hours of mindless comedy, Tony Stark making a fool of himself, almost no action to speak of. Overrated and boring and with cringe-inducing comedy. At least Battleship doesn’t rely on Tony Stark making stupid jokes and keeping the audience happy. Yes, I’m a troll
Forgot to mention. I love The Dark Knight, and can’t wait for TDKR. But again, Battleship was fun.
I just go for the popcorn.
That last paragraph is exactly how I felt about the avengers. Just… meh. Good once over, but wouldn’t want to do it again.
Same here man
I’ll be seeing it SOLELY for the awesome special effects..
I mean Brooklyn Decker of course.
**SPOILER ALERT**
I’m confused with people on here complaining about how is this movie like the board game??.. did you all go out for a smoke during the scene when both the alien ships were destroyed using the water displacement trick?… “Was it a hit?..No miss!”… that looked pretty much like the board game to me…I’d enjoyed the movie for what it was…an action movie.. 3.5 out of 5.