Another brilliant remake idea
Jul 13, 2004 by Vic HoltremanStudio Pitch-man: Hey! I know what we should do! Let’s take a movie that is so iconic, that had actors who will be forever burned into our collective psyche as the characters they played, and we’ll do a newer version with GREAT special effects!!!!
Upper-level Hollywood Exec: Which movie?
Studio Pitch-man: (Waving his arms wildly) THE 10 COMMANDMENTS!!!!!!!
Upper-level Hollywood Exec: Hmmm… that could work…
Sigh.
Since McG is off of Superman now, maybe they could get him to direct. But who to play Moses? They’ll probably choose Jack Black since his name seems to come up for everything these days.
Please make it stop. The rule to remaking a film should be that the original should be either:
A. Awful or mediocre at best (Ocean’s 11).
B. Relatively unknown (The Italian Job).
You don’t remake a classic, beloved film… you’re only asking for trouble unless you think you can beat the odds. Of course EVERYONE in Hollywood thinks they can beat the odds.
Sure, remakes work once in a while, but the higher up the chain you go as far as the original, the lower your odds of doing a remake that will be embraced by the public. Sure, it might make money out of the gate based on the curiousity factor, but it won’t have the staying power that will continue to generate revenue for years, or decades to come. Of course studio execs are not known for long term planning.
Here are just a few best forgotten remakes: Walking Tall, Miracle on 34th Street, Planet of the Apes, Psycho, Godzilla, King Kong (although I do think Peter Jackson will do this one right), Rollerball, Mighty Joe Young, and The Blob.
Source: Variety.com
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I was physically recoiling in pain as I read over your list of bad remakes and realized that I had actually seen some of those. That’s hours of my life I’m never getting back.
As for remaking The Ten Commandments, what can I say? Cecil B. DeMille must be rolling in his grave right now. Anyone who would even consider remaking one of his movies should be given a drug test. For starters, can you even imagine what a DeMille movie would cost to make today? Plus, who would the studio choose to star in it? Brad Pitt? Jake Gyllenhaal? Or how about a Ben Hur remake, starring Jack Black?
Let’s hope this ridiculous idea (and its ilk) never makes it off the drawing board.
Brian
Of course someone pointed out to me on another site that DeMille’s version was itself a remake.
Vic
DeMille remade Ben Hur (I think the original starred Valentino), but I wasn’t aware The Ten Commandments was a remake. Even so, those weren’t just good remakes; they were classics. How many classic remakes are coming out of Hollywood these days?
Brian
The only fairly recent ones that come to mind are: The Fly, The Thing, & The Ring.
Vic
The Italian Job.
Relatively unknown(!?!)
The Longest Yard is in pre-production. It is a remake of the Burt Reynolds sports-flick of the same name. Adam Sandler will play Reynold’s role, and rapper Nelly will also be in it. Also in it; WWE’s Goldberg, Steve Austin, Kevin Nash and Chris Rock. For what is worth, the original was an attempt at a serious/comedy movie. Reynolds will appear in it as a coach.
I wonder how the remake will go over with the PC crowd today and the social issues of blacks in prison. Can’t wait for Jesse Jackson or Danny Glover’s comments on it.
note: some jokes about ‘The Waterboy’ being assaulted in prison are omitted from this message.
Stu, I can only speak for myself as far as The Italian Job… I’d never heard of it.
Vic
Zipper,
I’m sure there will be some modern-day twist to make it all ok. :-*
Vic