During the 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days tell-all, Stephanie Matto accused ex-girlfriend Erika Owens of being a narcissist. While she claimed that Erika never showed a real interest in getting to know her, Stephanie's comment was incredibly ironic. From the perspective of the viewer, Stephanie was the real narcissist in this relationship.
Stephanie and Erika's relationship was a mess from the very beginning. Stephanie traveled all the way to Australia to meet her long-distance girlfriend, but showed very little interest in Erika when she arrived. She claimed that she was uncomfortable with intimacy, but struggled to show even the most basic affection to the woman she supposedly loved. As the two women spent time together, Stephanie's trust issues constantly reared their ugly head. She and Erika got into fights about a dating app on Erika's phone, Erika's past of intimate relationships with her friends, and other topics that inflamed Steph's problems with jealousy. Each time an argument would arise, Erika would storm away in frustration while Stephanie would insist that Erika just didn't understand her. Their every interaction was exhausting, so their breakup towards the end of Stephanie's trip came as no surprise.
While recounting their relationship issues during the June 7 Before the 90 Days tell-all, Stephanie claimed that Erika showed no real interest in getting to know her. While Erika expressed frustration that Stephanie's in-person personality was much different than her online persona, Stephanie insisted that she was honest with Erika about who she really was. She claimed that she spent lots of time asking Erika questions, while Erika rarely asked her anything about her life. As the conversation got more heated, Stephanie started talking over Erika, eventually accusing her of being a narcissist.
Ironically enough, Stephanie seemed much more narcissistic than Erika. Narcissism is marked by a sense of entitlement, a total disregard for other people's feelings, and an inability to handle criticism, among other symptoms. Each time an issue arose between Stephanie and Erika, Stephanie refused to hear Erika's side. Instead, she charged forward with her own opinion. When Erika would grow upset with the conversation, Stephanie would turn to emotional manipulation, often crying and accusing Erika of not understanding her. She put Erika in uncomfortable situations, such as asking Erika's friends about their past relationships during a party. She didn't seem to care if anything she did made others uncomfortable. Instead, she felt that she was entitled to approach people however she saw fit, no matter the effect it had on Erika. When Erika would try to express her frustration or ask for different behavior on Stephanie's part, Stephanie would insist that she had a right to her feelings and that Erika was the one in the wrong.
All in all, Stephanie displayed quite a bit of narcissistic behavior. While she accused Erika of being a narcissist because she didn't ask Steph questions, narcissism runs much deeper than that. While Erika tried to adjust her behavior to make things work with Steph, Stephanie's constant insistence that she was in the right made it impossible for the relationship to move forward. If there was one narcissist on this season of 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days, it certainly wasn't Erika.