Maybe I’m just out of touch with today’s youth culture, but as I look over this “winners list” from the 2009 MTV Movie Awards, I can’t help but feel like a crotchety old man who complains about the kids today with their loud music and funny ways of talking. The Twilight Saga wiped the floor with the competition, proving that vampire romance is the current king of pop culture, for better or worse.

In the interest of fairness, Screen Rant presents the complete list of winners from the 2009 MTV Movie Awards. Be wary, though: your head may explode as you read which actors and films lost to Twilight.

Here are the nominees listed by category (winners are highlighted in red). Shout-out to Slash Film for once again compiling an easy list for yours truly to copy and paste:

BEST MOVIE

  • Twilight
  • The Dark Knight
  • High School Musical 3: Senior Year
  • Iron Man
  • Slumdog Millionaire

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE

  • Angelina Jolie – Wanted
  • Anne Hathaway – Bride Wars
  • Kate Winslet – The Reader
  • Kristen Stewart – Twilight
  • Taraji P. Henson – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE

  • Christian Bale – The Dark Knight
  • Robert Downey Jr. – Iron Man
  • Shia LaBeouf – Eagle Eye
  • Vin Diesel – Fast & Furious
  • Zac Efron – High School Musical 3: Senior Year

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE FEMALE

  • Amanda Seyfried – Mamma Mia!
  • Ashley Tisdale – High School Musical 3: Senior Year
  • Freida Pinto – Slumdog Millionaire
  • Miley Cyrus – Hannah Montana: The Movie
  • Vanessa Hudgens – High School Musical 3: Senior Year
  • Kat Dennings – Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE MALE

  • Robert Pattinson – Twilight
  • Taylor Lautner – Twilight
  • Ben Barnes – The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
  • Dev Patel – Slumdog Millionaire
  • Bobb’e J. Thompson – Role Models

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE

  • Amy Poehler – Baby Mama
  • Anna Faris – The House Bunny
  • James Franco – Pineapple Express
  • Jim Carrey – Yes Man
  • Steve Carell – Get Smart

BEST VILLAIN

  • Derek Mears – Friday The 13th
  • Dwayne Johnson – Get Smart
  • Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight
  • Johnathon Schaech – Prom Night
  • Luke Goss – Hellboy II: The Golden Army

BEST FIGHT

  • Anne Hathaway vs. Kate Hudson – Bride Wars
  • Christian Bale vs. Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight
  • Ron Perlman vs. Luke Goss – Hellboy II: The Golden Army
  • Robert Pattinson vs. Cam Gigandet – Twilight
  • Seth Rogen and James Franco vs. Danny McBride – Pineapple Express

BEST KISS

  • Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy – Wanted
  • Freida Pinto and Dev Patel – Slumdog Millionaire
  • James Franco and Sean Penn – Milk
  • Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson – Twilight
  • Paul Rudd and Thomas Lennon – I Love You, Man
  • Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron – High School Musical 3: Senior Year

BEST WTF MOMENT (New Category)

  • Amy Poehler – Baby Mama, Peeing In the Sink
  • Angelina Jolie – Wanted, Curved Bullet Kill
  • Ayush Mahesh Khedekar – Slumdog Millionaire, Jumping in the Poop Shed
  • Ben Stiller – Tropic Thunder, Tasting the Decapitated Head
  • Jason Segel and Kristen Bell – Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Naked Break-Up

BEST SONG FROM A MOVIE (New Category)

  • “Jai Ho” – AR Raham, Slumdog Millionaire
  • “The Wrestler” – Bruce Springsteen, The Wrestler
  • “The Climb” – Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie
  • “Decode” – Paramore, Twilight

Is your head still in one piece?

Maybe I’m being unfair to the MTV Movie Awards – after all, these winners were chosen by fan votes, reflecting the democratic consensus of America’s youth. Hell, maybe Zac Efron WAS a better male performer than Robert Downey Jr. or Christian Bale, and maybe Twilight WAS a better film than The Dark Knight, Iron Man, or even Slumdog Millionaire (after all, what is an Oscar for Best Picture compared to an MTV online poll?). And Miley Cyrus beating out Bruce Springsteen in a Best Song category? Makes total sense to me!!!

I’m too old to spend more than five minutes watching MTV these days but some (read: two) highlights from last night’s Awards broadcast included a never-before-seen clip from Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen and the long-awaited debut of the first trailer for The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Other than that…

What do you think about the winners of the 2009 MTV Movie Awards? Do you agree with the results, or do you feel like this awards show needs to be taken out back behind the shed and shot?

Source: Slash Film & MTV News