1001 Ridiculous (but Possible) Upcoming Video Game Movies

Published 5 years ago by , Updated August 7th, 2012 at 1:16 pm,

super nes cartirdge banner 1001 Ridiculous (but Possible) Upcoming Video Game Movies

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. – Albert Einstein

Mr. Einstein could have very well been talking about Hollywood and all of the video game movies turds it has squeezed out in the past 27 years. Some people incorrectly think the wretched Super Mario Brothers kicked off the video game movie trend in 1993 but actually it started way back in 1984 with the thriller Cloak & Dagger, based off the Atari game, starring a young Henry Thomas (E.T.) and Dabney Coleman.

Regardless of which year we start from, there have been dozens of movies made from video games and, although some have come close (Mortal Kombat, Tomb Raider), NONE have actually been good. There have been some financially successful video game films but a large box office draw doesn’t always equal a “good film” (ehem Transformers 2).

Need proof that all video game films to date have been utter rubbish? Take a look at what is in the garbage pile:

Cloak & Dagger, Super Mario Brothers, Double Dragon, Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Wing Commander, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, Resident Evil, House of the Dead, Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Alone in the Dark, House of the Dead II, Doom, BloodRayne, Silent Hill, Dead or Alive, Postal, BloodRayne II: Deliverance, Hitman, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Far Cry, Max Payne, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, Alone in the Dark II

And those are just the films that been released so far. The list of upcoming films based on video games doesn’t do anything to increase my faith that Hollywood can make a good adaptation:

Silent Hill 2, Kane & Lynch, Mass Effect, World of Warcraft, Call of Duty, BioShock, Castlevania, , Gears of War, Halo, Metal Gear Solid, Dead Space, Hitman 2, Dante’s Inferno, Spy Hunter, Asteroids, The Sims, Rollercoaster Tycoon, Spore

There are probably a lot more upcoming video game adaptations that I can’t think of right now, but those are just off the top of  Google my head. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time released last week to mixed reviews and later this year our eyeballs will be pummeled by Tekken, King of Fighters, and Resident Evil: Afterlife.

It’s not fair to talk bad about films that haven’t been released yet but judging from their trailers, Tekken and King of Fighters have secured their spot in the garbage pile, while Resident Evil looks like it could actually be fun. Only time will tell if any of these future releases will manage to redeem the video game movie genre. At the time of this writing, Prince of Persia was sitting at a 48% Rotten Tomato score and, even though I consider Prince of Persia to be the best video game movie adaptation to date, that’s pretty much like saying this pile of garbage doesn’t stink as bad as that pile of garbage.

I think I see the why most, if not all, of these films will ultimately fail – because Hollywood is picking the wrong games. Asteroids, Spore, Rollercoaster Tycoon, and The Sims as feature length films – seriously!?! These games have no back story or character development to pull from and were never meant to be made into a 90 minute feature length film. The writers for these films have no choice but to make something dumb up for a plot.

Well if they can do it then so can I! I have compiled a list of 1001 (that’s 9 in binary for our less geeky readers) video games that I think are so ridiculous that Hollywood just has to make them into films.

Ready? Let’s start with a time traveling space opera comedy…

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  1. First, I thought the first Tomb Raider movie was pretty good. Definitely an enjoyable popcorn flick in the theater. Also, I think that Spyhunter could be a great movie if it’s done right. I mean car chases, boat chases, helicopters, cool weapons and a damn cool theme music SHOULD make a fun movie. But I have to agree with you; for the most part video game movie adaptations have been mediocre at best.

    • I too liked Tomb Raider (both of them). Sure I thought they could have been done better, but I still can watch them.

  2. How about Solitaire?

    A young man named Jeff (played by that one guy from Knocked Up) spends all his days playing Solitaire on the computer. He plays it at home, he plays it at work, he plays it any time he can. Eventually his Solitaire addiction gets him fired from work, and his girlfriend leaves him. Right when Jeff’s prospects seem bleakest, a wise old man appears into life (played by an older Asian male) who recruits him into a Solitaire tournament. Despite being initially hopeful of his prospects, he soon finds that the Solitaire tournament is no laughing matter, and could decide the very fate of the world. He must train non-stop, and falls in the mud a few times with 80′s background music playing. Along the way he meets a fierce rival competitor whose victory could be the end of life as we know it, and a beautiful girl who is at first annoyed by Jeff’s childish charms and skeptical of his chances of victory, but later falls in love with him.

    • Spider Solitaire could also work and be distributed by Platinum Dunes

  3. I suspect you’re just being ‘internet’ harsh with some of the aforementioned ‘utter rubbish’ films. Resident Evil 1 & 2 are at least “alright” which is the equivalent of videogame movie royalty. And to be fair, a lot of those movies were made by Uwe Boll!

    If you’ve played though Silent Hill 2 the game you’d know it’s an excellent story, easy to translate in the film (although I’m certain they’ll not do that, or a good job either, unfortunately)

    Mass Effect, Bioshock, Metal Gear and Dead Space all have excellent narratives and a strong artistic style. The world can be extremely vivid. The problem really lies in the writing and the budget. All ya gotta do is make it in 3D, insert a love story and advertise it like Jim Cameron and you’ve got a best-seller that will please most movie-goers.

    • No I’m not being internet harsh..UI’ve watched each movie that I mentioned there. RE 1 and 2 were pretty bad as far as acting and story go, although the SFX were pretty good. Remember though that these are my opinos on those movies and if you enjoyed the films then I am by no means trying to diminsh that :)

      In case you haven’t read (the news just dropped today) Metal Gear Solid is dead in the water and most likely won’t happen at all now.

      • I get suspicious about videogame movies being announced, only to be dropped (Halo, Gears etc) …a part of me thinks that it’s just free publicity; “linking” people to certain projects that aren’t ever gonna see the light of day…

        MGS is practically a movie already so i’m not that torn up! Heavy Rain would be a good one; although it defeats the purpose, because the game was supposed to marry film and videogame…

        Legend of Zelda would make a great movie! (It’d have to have some kind of Lord of the Rings style look and budget) …it’d prob be better off making a CGI film like Resi Degeneration…

        i didn’t mention it but Zork, Dig-Dug and Bubble-Bobble would be hilarious! Good job

        • How can you live with yourself? Have you not seen the previews for Jonah Hex? Honestly! Just look at the graphic novels for Majora’s Mask and The Ocarina of Time. You have to know that the land of Hyrule has suffered enough that it does not deserve the sort of abuse that a motion picture studio tends to mete out.
          If you gotta do something start a letter writing campaign to get a Lobo movie going. It would take such a brilliant mind to screw up stories with such disdeign for continuity that any movie about Lobo that it would be real hard for it to be disappointing.

      • In your list you had forgotten the fail of Doom with the Rock and the first Street Fighter with Jean Claude Van Damme. An you mentioned Transformers which is a whole other genre of comic book movies to be grouped with Batman, Punisher, GI Joe, ect. This, however; is a pointless argument. An individual is entitled to his or her opinion of what is watchable.
        I like some movies that are not so good like Popeye and He-Man (cartoon or comic adaptations) for their ironic factor. What I do not get is movies like Marmaduke and the possible upcoming Yogi Bear. I am waiting for the epic Smufs of Strawberry Shortcake, or another board game inspired movie (maybe Risk) before a rant on terrible movies to really state a “duh I think we should make dat one” moment from the Hollywood a**holes that think we want to see every piece of cr*p they rush out the door without thinking.
        Your rant reminded me of a similar rant from an individual complaining about the Caucasian playing Goko in Dragon Ball movie. Never mind that the story line presents the character as an alien, it was still a poor choice for the direct change due to the origin of the content, but this is also Pointless…
        If you have a complete distaste for the absence of substance in films you would like to watch, then make your own movie. Then other will put their opinion on your own creativity or lack thereof.

        • Too late bud. There is already a Smurfs movie being filmed in NTC right now and Risk has already been optioned for film. :)

  4. wow, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within… “garbage pile” material?
    I’ll have to vehemently disagree with you. So it’s not really related in any way to Final Fantasy (it was, however, created by the good folks that created all the Final Fantasy games, so I guess they’re allowed to use the name).

    I have NO idea why people keep trashing the movie. To call this movie “utter rubbish” is to demonstrate that you either know nothing about films, or are just out on a vendetta to trash everything and in the process make yourself sound cool.

    • Oh yeah…I’m trying to sound super cool by referring to a film that bankrupted the studio that made it by calling it garbage.

      Final Fantasy tried to capitalize on name branding to justify using a ridiculous budget ($137 mil) to make an animated movie about space spirits. When fan boys of the game and genre found out the movie had nothing to do with the game, they gave up on it, as they should.

      While visually spectacular for its time, the story was ultimately pushed to the background and THAT is why the movie failed.

      • Don’t take criticism well, do you Paul? How old are you? 12? The thing about editorials, if you put your opinion out there don’t get mad when someone disagrees.

        • I take criticism just fine when it’s justified. I have no problem with someone disagreeing with me but I’m not gonna let them accuse me of something and then not respond.

          “To call this movie “utter rubbish” is to demonstrate that you either know nothing about films, or are just out on a vendetta to trash everything and in the process make yourself sound cool.”

          Some people liked FF and others didn’t…nothing wrong with that but the purpose of the article was to poke a bit of fun at the upcoming VG movies, not argue about 1 or 2 mediocre films.

    • I loved “The Spirits Within”, but I can see how people don’t like it. I enjoy some video game movies like the Resident evil films, Doom, Bloodrayne 1 and 2, and a few others. The only one that I would give critical praise to would be “Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children Complete”. IMO, everything about that movie was great.

      • FF7:ACC was animated right? I had heard good things about that so I should prolly check it out. The D&D animated movie was excellent as well.

        • FF7:AC doesnt count as a video game movie its basically a long CGI sequal.

          • And it’s based off the video game, Final Fantasy 7.

            • it was a SEQUAL so was RE:DEGENERATION so both of those dont count on my list.

              • FF7:AV and RE:Degeneration all have something to do with the video games. Therefore, they are video game based.

          • Paul put “Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within” on the list, which was CGI too. So Advent Children would count.

    • @Mike E.

      I agree…”FF:TSW” was, in my opinion, an excellent film. I do not consider it a videogame movie; in fact, the only reason the videogame title fits it is because of the simple fact that it possesses the otherworldly qualities of the game series that shared that name. It, however, was far superior to any of the other films in this article (and better than MANY other films, in general).

      @Paul Young

      Having stated the above, I will go on to say that, although they may never win any awards for top quality production values or acting, I DID very much enjoy as popcorn flicks “Prince of Persia”, both Lara Croft movies (the first a bit more than the second), and (as good, dumb fun) the first “Mortal Kombat”. Most of the others seem to be good Saturday afternoon, bored-in-front-of-the-t.v. movies or middle of the night white noise.

  5. I really do want to see a movie based on Dantes Inferno…The Book, Not the game though. I wouldent mind if they made it more modern but it should be more “what Dreams may COme” than “Doom”.

    • Wasn’t Dantes Inferno a poem?

      Anyway, yeah, that would be interesting. Although I enjoyed Doom, it was not what it should’ve been. The whole portal to hell thing was underplayed in the movie.

      • I thought “Doom” was a fun Sci-fi flick. The problem was that it was loosley based off the game. There was no portal to hell, and it was pretty much Resident Evil set on Mars. My major complaint was that the film was advertised as being shot in first person view, but that was only a short segment. Anyway, it’s a guilty pleasure.

        • Agreed…Doom was partly fun but mostly bad and had nothing to do with the VG which is why it’s a garbage movie. I thought the First Person sequence was neat but they didn’t do enough of it.

          • Same here. The first person segment is definitely my favorite scene from the film. However, when I watched the trailers it showed as if the entire film would be played out like that, and it was disappointing to see just five minutes (more or less) of it.

            • i’ve generally heard the FPS scene in doom bashed but it was a first in film (has anyone else done an FPS scene in film?) and i marked out when I saw it. I don’t know if you could film an entire movie like that. But it might be worth a try. Maybe in 3D as well. If anything, it would be the ultimate gimmick (and a proper use of the gimmick of 3D)

      • Yes, it is an epic poem, one of three component parts of THE DIVINE COMEDY, BUT most people tend to read it (and/or learn about it) in more easily digestible book form, often retaining the poetic form, but sometimes appearing quite effectively (depending on the editor and/or translator) in prose.
        I think this story, if looked at seriously (and NOT given the Jack Black or Judd Apatow treatment) would make an amazing epic film, AND you even have a “Lord of the Rings” -style trilogy potential built in!

        • I’m surprised it hasn’t gotten a film adaptation yet (the animated film, the animated diorama and really old film doesn’t count!) so i’d definitely be behind this poem given the LOTR treatment.

          ….there must be a good reason why it hasn’t already…

  6. ok, so the people who created Final Fantasy decided to build a film studio, as a launching point for further projects. Their first project they named after their big hit video game (despite it not being related in any way to that game). And the film didn’t do well because fan-boys got peeved it wasn’t about any of the characters in the multitude of universes that have existed related to the game.

    Tactical error on the part of the studio.
    Doesn’t make the film “bad”.

    The texts are well-written.
    The animation is great.
    The story has a good structure.

    Square Pictures was not bankrupted, by the way.
    They also made other films, and were eventually re-merged into Square-Enix.

    Technically, since the film is NOT based upon a video game, it shouldn’t even be in your list.

    • Yet somehow there is resides. You’re the first person (and I’m sure there are others) that don’t consider FF to be a movie based on a video game. They (the studio) tried to market their film as a movie with ties to the game…therefore it belongs in “the list” of video game films.

      Whether it was bad or not is subjective. I, along with other moviegoers, did not enjoy it as a film. If you did, then by all means enjoy the hell out of it brother  Don’t let me or anyone else talk you out of liking it. Our opinions are no better than yours.

      • actually, as far as I can remember, there was never any marketing that claimed that the FF film was “based on the game”. It was “made by” the producers of the game. I watched many a documentary on the fledgling studio in the lead-up to the release of the film, many an interview with the creators, and never was I lead to believe it would in any way be based upon one of the games. I always thought the film title was a strange choice because of this. I was also, at that time, a VERY heavy Finale Fantasy 11 player.

        I would also argue that I’m not the “first person to argue” that the FF movie was not based on the game. Most of the people I know never associated it with the game. Most of them are gamers. And actually, many of them thoroughly enjoyed the flick, like myself.

    • @”Square Pictures was not bankrupted, by the way.
      They also made other films, and were eventually re-merged into Square-Enix.”

      Actually, Square put most of their money into “The Spirits Within”, and when it flopped they were forced to merge with Enix.

  7. Weird article. I like how you state that NONE of them were good as if it’s a fact. Sure, you didn’t like it and a lot of other ppl didn’t, but that applies to ALL MOVIES buddy. I know it’s cool for (movie) critics to jump on the “videogame movies suck” bandwagon, but please, don’t sell it to us as a fact.

    RE1 was very coherent horror movie. RE3 was also good and a big improvement on the first 2. Prince of Persia is getting mixed reviews, but some serious movie critics actually praised it and no one has deemed it TERRIBLE or GARBAGE. And I will forever stand by the fact that Mortal Kombat 1 and Silent Hill were amazing films. I don’t want to go into the WHY’S but there are a lot of ppl that agree with that assessment.

    Furthermore, Hitman, Doom and Tomb Raider are considered to be “middle of the line” movies as far as quality goes. Not garbage by any means.

    And of course, there’s the guilty pleasure element to a lot of the movies listed. I own Double Dragon and love that movie; same for Street Fighter (Van Damme version)

    • Sigh…there is no fact being presented here OGB, you’ve read my stuff long enough to know that. This is an OPINIONATED ARTICLE so of course it’s going to have my opinion throughout it :P

      Just like in real life, not everything that ends up in the garbage pile is actual garbage. Some things are on the top and some things are on the bottom. Same applies my article. I lumped them all together but in all honesty there really hasn’t been a video game movie that was awesome.

      BTW, I own Super Mario Bros. and I’m not ashamed to say it…OK I’m a little ashamed.

      Question – Why is it when a “serious” movie critic puts out an opinion that agrees with we what think, then we use then as reference to back up our own opinions; but when they are in disagreement with us, they cease to be a “serious” critic?

      • That’s just how people work. If they really like a movie, they’ll rub “it got a 92% on Rotten Tomatoes” in the faces of anyone that disagrees with them. However, if they like a movie that got a 48%, they’ll rail against anyone who dares to use such statistics, “Think for yourself, man, don’t be such a sheep.”

    • @ogb,

      WHY do you continue to read an editorial news site if you HATE seeing opinion injected into articles?


      • I’m not just HATING on the opinion. If you read what I actually wrote you would understand that.

        • Pick up any newspaper across the country, open it to the editorial section and read the letter from the editor for the day.

          Same thing.


          • Okay. So that makes it right? Like I said before:

            “I get all that Paul, but this article comes off as a little pompous. Lumping a bunch of movies together and throwing them into the garbage pile is kind of irresponsible. Some of them are actually well received films. That was my main point. The other being that Mortal Kombat and Silent Hill are actually damn good movies.”

            • Then I guess I’m pompous. I’m not changing my opinion on any of the films and to date, no video game film has been what The Dark Knight was to comic book films. You’re way too focused on that one paragraph instead of the rest of the article.

              • oh c’mon, Dark Knight is an (for videogames) unattainable goal. That movie was all kinds of amazing.

                I’ll suggest internet/critic favourites Grim Fandango and Psychonauts as games that would make great movies. Grim Fandango’d probably be like Nightmare before Xmas, Psychonauts…CGI as well. Or stop motion, i bloody love stop motion animation :)

            • Actually I was replying to this:

              “I like how you state that NONE of them were good as if it’s a fact.”

              And “irresponsible” is not a term I would associate with a done for fun article on a movie site.


  8. dante’s inferno is a book first off and they are making it a movie, But of the book not the game. Second the is a animated movie for the game.

  9. I think Shining Force would make an excellent movie.

  10. I get all that Paul, but this article comes off as a little pompous. Lumping a bunch of movies together and throwing them into the garbage pile is kind of irresponsible. That was my main point. The other being that Mortal Kombat and Silent Hill are actually damn good movies.

  11. While I’m not sure I could recommend any video game for adaptation I’m surprised that both Command and Conquer and Alien Mind haven’t been tapped to make movies. I’m also surprised that someone hasn’t tried to combine elements of the game Mech Brigade with the book “The Bear and The Dragon.” I would say it’s because the price for the book rights would be too high.

  12. I didn’t go through ALL the list; I don’t think I need to.

    When ‘Silent Hill’ came out a few years back I thought it was good and I never played the game. When I started to hear the “fan defense” of the film (“Play the game, critics, you’ll understand”) I was dumbfounded; I got it and never played the game. In spite of some of the stupid stuff (Laurie Holden’s Hot Leather Pants, for one)…so my thoughts were that those who didn’t like the film DID get it. They simply didn’t like it.

    Note: I went in to the theater at the time solely on the strength of director Christoph Gans- I LOVED Brotherhood Of The Wolf. But over the past four to five years, I liked the film less and less because of the fanbase. Everytime they pointed out the goodies, it just reminded me of not what I liked, but what I didn’t like.

    I will admit I didn’t get Max Payne.

    I hated Hitman. No redeeming quality.

    I thought the Mortal Kombat films were junk.

    I had mixed reactions to the Tomb Raider films.

    I didn’t like the first Resident Evil much, hated the second, LIKED the third (which everyone seemed to hate because it strayed AWAY from the game, so I heard). I might see the upcoming film…on video.

    I Loved the DTV Resident Evil CG movie. But that’s different. Looked like a videogame that you cannot play :)

    Uwe Boll films. I’ll give Bloodrayne some props on cheese and Kristianna Loken’s rough sex scene.

    D.O.A. was just that. Dead On Arrival.

    Am I still holding out hopes for an Earthworm Jim movie?
    World Of Warcraft project had the right idea: an original story/characters set within the world of Warcraft. Since it’s taken this long to perculate- I shudder to think the pitch has changed greatly. I’m sure it has.

    All and all, I don’t have to read the rest of the article. In fact, I stopped right at 99. Why?

    Because Paul is preaching to the choir. Or at least one organ player :)

    I think it’s already been said. The films based on games that are being defended have one thing in common: they were not great. They either fell below expectations (Doom) or were average (Prince Of Persia).

    Are there exceptions? I think that there might be more going for films based on games IF those games had ties to Magna/Anime (Devil May Cry, for example) it MIGHT (just might) have a better chance because a film has more to work with. Video games are limited in story and character. The main problem is that the films/proposed films when having those licenses are “bound” by the contracts to make those films cater mostly to a small segment of the populace. This is why HALO stalled – and why it will never be made.

    We play video games. We watch movies.
    When we just watch videogames, it isn’t as fun, is it?

    • “I didn’t make it past 99″

      SEE. I told you I didn’t read it!

      Anyway, now that I have:

      Earthworm Jim (sci fi action comedy)
      Devil May Cry (based more on the anime series than the game)
      War Of Warcraft (new characters in the WOW setting)
      Joust (I still want to see a whole mythos of flying ostriches)

  13. I wanna see disney make a Kingdom Hearts Movie

    • logan lerman as sora
      rain as riku

      yes plz

  14. Bruce Willis is Dig Dug !!!!

    • Darn it Bruce you made me go to YouTube to see that. ;)

  15. I actually liked Spirits Within and the first Resident Evil, not a popular opinion I know and I can totally see why people don’t like them. Then again, I had NEVER played either game series before maybe I didn’t have high expectations

  16. I agree with Paul each and every single one of those movies were horrible. Prince of Persia was the best but still not good. Just because u liked a film kind of does not make it good. That’s why they call them guilty pleasures. Movie taste is based on opinion but a film being good or bad is mostly fact. A film with bad effects terrible acting unrealistic/unclevar dialogue poor lighting and accidental shots of booms / crew members well that film is bad. U might enjoy it good for u it still is a bad film. The Punisher was not a great film I accept that I still like it alot same with reign of fire or dare devil. Non of those are good films technically but I still own them and enjoy they. Transformers 2 is a crap movie but some people love it. It’s possible to really like a movie despite it being garbage.

    • “a film being good or bad is mostly fact”

      you found a way to mathematically prove a film is good or bad?!?

      j/k – I know what you’re saying: technical (objective) v. aesthetic (subjective)… and there’s the other reasons we like crappy movies that we can’t quite explain

  17. In sorry but while FF SWI looked good at was a poorly written convoluted plot. They tried to make it complicated and meanigful but they tried to hard they tried to add meaning to unimportant events to otherwise on meaningful moments and the plot suffered and was senseless.

    The Tomb Raider franchise is no exception to bad game movies. Angelina at her best is only mediocre at acting and this was not her at her best her performance was so bad that it made Keeanu look almost tolerable in all his films. The movie was made to sell sex and action and some how managed to fail at both. Angelina excelled at sex appeal and some how managed to be unsexy in this film and the action was not only underpeoduced but hardly even there. Let’s not even start on the fact that the films didn’t have a bad story because they didn’t have a story at all.

    Doom wad a terrible plot with bad acting the best performance was the Rock who normally I enjoy but his performance was like he knew the film would suck so he was gonna get paid and get out.

    Let’s not even get started on resident evil there was absolutely nothing good about any of those films not one redeemable quality. They make tomb rIder look mediocre.

    Hitman was a mess while better than most game films it places third and when non of them are actually good third is not an ok place to be.

    • maybe it was too complicated for you?
      I saw nothing “convoluted” about Final Fantasy.

      It’s amusing to read your comments that all of these films were “factually” bad. I guess it’s nice to live in a world of such certainty.

      • Mike E. Never have they said it’s a fact. Accept that it’s just an opinionated article. Not one of those movies have been a financial success to the video game movie genre, not one. Case in point, the comparison with what The Dark Knight was to comic book movies. Just let it go, man. Quit defending Final Fantasy like you starred in it. The movie sucked.

        • @ Alex

          Actually, no it did NOT suck. I am not defending Mike E. or OGB or anyone else; they’re able to do that themselves. I do, however, take exception to someone treating a fellow commentor like an idiot when he, himself is being, at best, a nimrod. Let’s try to stick to objective comments OR subjective comments that DO NOT insult others.

          • This does, of course, apply to Mike E, who said the film might be “too complicated” for Daniel F, as well…Putting each other down accomplishes nothing…except to bring this site down to the level of so many “low-class” trash sites out there.

  18. I want to see a movie based on the Gauntlet games. Wizards, warriors, elves, etc. going through worlds trying to contain evil and in the processing just hacking up evil doers and monsters. Sounds like a fun movie to me. Conan with a bit of LOTR thrown in. :P

    • Gauntlet was awesome! I’ll agree with that. Castlevania I would watch.

  19. I want “Monkey Island” as a movie.

  20. It’s not at all unattainable a game like Mass Effect if done right could easily be better than TDK and I’m a huge fan of TDK. There are plenty of games with great story but they have to choose those games and actually stick to those storys. I wanna see Mass Effect, Uncharted, God of War, Fall out 3 and Heavy Rain get the movie treatment If they stick with the story in those games they could all be great.

  21. yeah i agree every one of those films were trash. except the first mortal kombat but that could have been better. i would love to see a resident evil remake like the first game with a great director. but instead when a video game is going to be made then they hire these crappy directors and they change everything about them that makes them great, but if they kept them like they were when they were video games then they would do great by fans and by the average movie goer. like mario brothers, if tim burton did mario brother it could be really entertaining just imagine the colors and the world he could create and thats just mario. if someone like m night shymalan,or chris nolan,or even guilmoro del toro,or the director of splice did a resident evil remake or some of the other video games then we would see a better film. they need to hire a grade directors, and use great stories,effects that are half cgi,and half practical,and have great actors. and when i say great actors i dont really mean well known i mean great actors who can change their characters from film to film. well i also would love to see the remake to the creature from the black lagoon,island of dr moreau,a underworld begining with the corvinus family,steve altens the loch,jurassic park that is more serious, and a few more monster films,killer animal flicks,and sci fi thrillers that are really great and unique.

  22. No mention of the Elder Scrolls ? I realize there have not been any adapations to date, though is there any better film material than Morrowind or Oblivion ? The games just about film themselves. Even Brett Ratner couldn’t screw them up (most likely, though his powers of destruction are considerable). Great article Paul, if people are arguing over any aspect of it and defending any movie, they probably need some time away from the monitor and a few pints with mates and lovely women (or men, whichever works).
    Could Spidey 3 be considered a movie based upon a video game(Spiderman 2: The Game) based upon a movie (Spiderman 2: The Movie) ? (it could help explain the horrible plot, unnecessary number of villans and poor character development).

  23. To complicated for me? I never said it was complecated just that it tried to be. I really wanted to be a complex story but it was just a riddiculious one. Yes all these films are factually bad. As I said before that doesn’t mean that u can’t like them. We all like bad films some of us just live in denial and rather than simply admit it was bad but that we liked it anyway we try to defend it claiming it was good and that the 99 percent of people who say it’s bad are just wrong.

    • @Daniel F.

      Your “opinion” is sounding suspiciously close to a statement of “fact”. It is not a fact. I, and a couple of others here, have already given the opposing opinion for why people liked the film. It was not a guilty pleasure for me; I actually found it (to a degree) intellectually stimulating. I am not saying 99% of people are wrong…just that I disagree with them (that percentage, of course, being overzealous). My opinion is different from others’, not better or worse. I thought “Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within” was a great film.

  24. Folks,

    Things are getting a bit heated here, especially considering the topic. Just a reminder that while we encourage readers to share their thoughts/opinions that everyone be civil to each other.



  25. I think Oregon Trail could do well, if you ask me. It could provide the struggle and reward that movies require. Love interest. I think it could work. Have like 4 brothers back in the 1800′s embark on a trip after their parents died from some disease back then, they travel along with other people around the country who are taking the same trip. the main brother finds a love interest on the travels and start to do their thing. then tragedy strikes as one of the brothers, maybe the younger one is struck with dysentry or a snake bite or whatever and they as a group have to decide whether to continue on their trails and risk a death or stop and let him heal. It could work.

    • Oregon Trail, Ohh I remember that one too. It was really popular and was on many platforms. I actually sold an old system one time because that game went with it. You have a good memory akptk92…

      • i’m a 23 year old man trapped inside a child’s body. i wanna see stuff from the 80′s and 90′s made into movies. cartoons these dasys just don’t match up to the greatness i grew up with. lol so thank you!

        • i mean a child trapped inside a 23 year old’s body lol my bad

  26. Maybe it’s because I’m not a game player(too old)and my son ,who is a game player tells me I’m the only one, but I loved the Hitman film, maybe because I’m a fan of Timothy Olyphant

    • You weren’t the only one. I found it to be a fun film to watch but I still wouldn’t consider it to be good.

  27. Not one person has mentioned that a Metroid movie starting Samus Aran might be a good starting point for a feature film? What kind of a geek website is this??? :)

    • Please let that particular dog sleep. Or do you really want to see Hillary Duff and the Olson twins become action heroes. Yeah didn’t think so. Perhaps one of the Fannings will grow up to be really tall then we can bring it up again. Until then let’s just be patient, please.

  28. Interesting list. The fact is that any serious critic would take apart nearly ever movie we would remotely consider “good” and trash them as thoroughly as you trashed any of these flicks. Personally I tend to think that good and bad in terms of art and entertainment are entirely subjective, since I personally loathe books others like, and like books others might loathe. For very personal reasons.

    Out of this list the only movies I’d stand up and defend, at least by stating my affection for them, is the original Tomb Raider (not in the least because the bungee cord battle was kick-ass cool, Angelina still looked hot, and she did the majority of her own stunts), the 1st Resident Evil flick, though I can and have sat through both the sequels without bursting into flames, and, well, pretty much none of the others.

    I’ll take exception to anyone calling RE 1 a horror flick, though. NOT a horror flick. Pure SF action in much the same vein as Alien 2. Which, while Alien 1 was SF/Horror, 2 was NOT. I don’t DO horror and zombies, as a rule, bore the crap out of me. RE is an unseemly exception, and I can only justify it by saying Milla makes a unexpectedly convincing action hero.

    I’m not a console gamer, so I have never played any of the games upon which these movies were based. I don’t have that prejudice. On the other hand, I have played at least the Demo of Dungeon Siege and have to say that movie was utter crap. One gets more fantasy jollies off watching Legend of the Seeker or old Xena episodes on Netflix.

    And, btw, the fight choreography in Mortal Kombat was horrendous. I almost couldn’t sit through it, especially when the blonde fought. Seriously, we all know you can teach an actress to LOOK like she knows what she’s doing. Someone just has to care. Obviously no one cared. I hated that movie.

    Seriously–calling movies “junk” or “garbage” is like saying the same about music. If people enjoy them, if they shell out hard-earned cash to watch them–more than once–and if people are entertained, they’re not really trash. No more than and old Luke Skywalker action figure is “trash,” to someone who collects such things. To someone who doesn’t? Some hundred grams of junk plastic. To someone who cares, priceless.

    Of course I’d wade in on this, given one of my more recent blog posts was my top 10 badass heroines of TV and Film. And Alice from RE came in at #2.

    I suppose it might be said that I’ve got a dog in the fight.


  29. Being as old as dirt gives me a different perspective on many things. Sometimes the parallax of my decades makes it difficult for me to understand how you people of this new modern age are so talented at overlooking the things that you do not want to see. Sure, a lot of the people who read this were probably busy waiting to be born when it came out, but it seems like that the guy who writes XKCD is right. The Atari kids are being overtaken by the Nintendo generation. It is still inconceivable to me that anybody who read the article (and especially the author) could not know about TRON (1982) or its impending sequel. There is actually a mention of it in one of the comments.
    While TRON was not the first it was my first, and it was the first to come out of mainstream Hollywood. It was a Disney film and like the Disney films of that age, it was: well written, superbly acted and had a topnotch cast. The special effects were just as much a character as the people and the score. Plus every scene has something that you still wish they sold at Sharper Image. Be honest with yourself how many unpleasant things would you do to get a lightcycle?
    Without getting too fanboy about things, let me just say that the movie TFR and you know it. If George Lucas hadn’t saturated the airwaves with the hype about the end of his holy trilogy TRON would have been one of those beloved movies that people talk about whenever movies like The Matrix, The Mummy or that one about the guys with the lightup swords are mentioned. If you doubt me or disagree; checkout the spike in Frisbee sales.

    • I don’t count ‘Tron’ as a video game film, because it takes place *within* a game, but the film isn’t based off a game.

      • Aye, Tron was a movie first and a video after that so I do not consider it to be based off a game.