10 Movie Ways to Avoid Armageddon

Published 1 year ago by , Updated April 15th, 2013 at 7:38 am, This is a list post.

Mayan Calendar Ends: 10 Movie Ways to Avoid Armageddon

End of the World Armageddon Mayans 2012 Header There is a specious superstition that - according to some (mis-)reading of the Mayan calendar - the world is supposed to end on Friday, December 21, 2012. With that in mind, we at Screen Rant came up with a list of 10 ways to actually save the world, using lessons we've learned from movies. In each of these movies, the world - or life as we know it - was close to destruction, but people (or circumstances) found ways to prevent it. WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE MOVIES IN OUR LIST!!!

Germ Warfare

War of the Worlds Photo The Situation:  Based on the H.G. Wells novel, War of the Worlds (1953) features a Martian invasion of the United States. Firing weapons at their ships doesn't work. Fighting them doesn't work. Our world is close to destruction until... The Solution: The common cold. Some of the best defenses are the unlikely ones and a common virus takes down the invading Martians who aren't accustomed to the viruses that are prominent on this planet. World-saving advice: The next time aliens attack, don't forget to sneeze.

Water

Signs movie Alien Water The Situation: In the 2002 drama Signs, crop circles begin to appear around Earth and eventually a group of hostile aliens begins their full invasion of our planet. The family in the story believe that the end could be near for them and the rest of humanity, until… The Solution: Water. Throughout the film, the aliens avoid water, and when it is poured on one of them at the end, it burns the alien. Problem solved. . World-saving advice: Many doctors argue that eight glasses of water a day are healthy for us. Perhaps, we should all have a ninth glass nearby as well, in case an alien invasion begins.

Time Travel

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator 2 The Situation:  Our future looks bleak in movies like Terminator (1984), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) and Star Trek: First Contact (1996). In the former two films, a machine is sent back in time to kill a young resistance leader named John Connor - while in the latter film, The Borg go back in time to conquer Earth. There's not much we can do to change the future, though, unless... The Solution: We use-time travel to fight back. In the Terminator series, resistance leaders from the future send back their own operatives to save Connor's life and give him the chance to become a leader. In First Contact, the crew of the Enterprise goes back in time to destroy the Borg and prevent them from taking over the planet. World-saving advice: If our enemies wish to change the past, we just have to return the favor and go back in time to prevent them from doing so. A good time machine always comes in handy in such situations.

Computer Viruses

Independence Day Photo The Situation:  Spaceships take over our airspace and destroy entire cities in the 1996 blockbuster, Independence Day. Their plan: to destroy our planet.  Everything seems lost in the first days of July, until... The Solution: Our president inspires his fellow countrymen and they lead an assault on the alien visitors - an operation launched (unsurprisingly) on Independence Day. One man's self-sacrifice helps destroy the main ship, but the way that we ultimately save the Earth is by uploading a virus into an alien computer and weakening their defenses. World-saving advice: Computer viruses can be good things. Sure, they can mess up your day at work - but they can also weaken alien spacecraft. You probably didn't know that, did you?

Music

Mars Attacks Photo The Situation:  Mars attacks in the subtly-titled 1996 comedy, Mars Attacks! These seemingly innocuous worldly travelers have come to the planet to kill all of us and destroy some of our greatest landmarks. There doesn't seem to be a solution until... The Solution: The power of music. It turns out that the Martians don't like yodeling or the song, "Indian Love Call." Either way, in this Tim Burton comedy the heads of the martians explode in whenever the song comes on. World-saving advice: Have a record player or an iPod always nearby in case they return.

The 'Off' Switch

Mike Myers in Austin Powers The Situation:  Dr. Evil blackmails the world with nuclear weapons in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997). This diabolical diva is willing to do anything to take over the world, and plans to set many of Earth's volcanoes to erupt! All could be lost to this sensitive psycho, until.... The Solution: Austin Powers saves the day. He shuts off Dr. Evil's machine and saves the world. World-saving advice: Always make sure you have your mojo working, baby, yeah. That, and always know how to locate the "off" switch on a doomsday device.

Kissing

Bruce Willis in the Fifth Element The Situation:  The Great Evil, a planet that could destroy the Earth, is quickly approaching our atmosphere in the 1997 sci-fi film, The Fifth Element. The only woman who could save the planet is cynical about humanity and doesn't know if she wants to save us. Hope is lost, until... The Solution: Bruce Willis kisses her. Showing that love is something that must be saved, Willis kisses the girl. She changes her mind about not saving the planet and we're all saved. World-saving advice: Always have Bruce Willis handy to make out with humanoid females who have the power to stop the world from being destroyed.

Indigestion

Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones in Men in Black The Situation:  In Men in Black (1997), our planet is full of aliens, but most of them are being monitored by a secret organization. However, there are some aliens like the villain Edgar the Bug who are willing to sacrifice the Earth to gain power in an interplanetary struggle. All could be lost, until... The Solution: Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones), one of the two main MIB agents, is eaten by Edgar and then blasts his way out of the monster with a gun recovered in the alien's stomach. World-saving advice: You are what you eat. Always be willing to get swallowed by an alien life form if that's the only way you have of destroying the creature hell-bent on eradicating the planet.

Self-Sacrifice

Bruce Willis and his crew in Armageddon The Situation:  An asteroid and a comet are headed to Earth and the planet is near destruction in Armageddon (1998) and Deep Impact (1998). It looks like these flying rocks will wipe out Earth as we know it in only a matter of time, until... The Solution: Heroes emerge willing to sacrifice their lives to save the day. In the former film, Bruce Willis' character stays on the asteroid to blow it up, and in the latter film, Robert Duvall's crew crashes into the comet to break it up. World-saving advice: Always have heroes willing to sacrifice their lives to save the day from utter destruction. If one thing can prevent our planet from being destroyed by flying objects, it's the kamikaze courage of men like Bruce Willis and Robert Duvall.

Nuclear Weapons

The Avengers Assembled The Situation:  In The Avengers, the villiainous Loki sends an alien army to conquer Earth. The team has their hands full when New York City is attacked. All could be lost, until... The Solution: Iron Man saves the day by flying a nuclear missile into space to destroy the alien fleet.  He falls to Earth and nearly dies, but the day is won with time left to eat some celebratory Shawarma. World-saving advice: Nuclear weapons can be useful in the right hands. And by that I mean the hands of Iron Man.

10 Movie Ways to Avoid Armageddon

End of the World Armageddon Mayans 2012 Header Here, again, is our list of "10 Ways to Stop Armageddon" based on lessons we learned in the movies.  Feel free to reference this when aliens, asteroids, or machines from the future threaten to destroy us all.
  • Give Alien Attackers a Cold-- War of the Worlds (1953)
  • Waterworks--Signs (2002)
  • Time Travel-- Terminator (1984), Terminator 2 (1991), Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
  • Computer Virus-- Independence Day (1996)
  • Music-- Mars Attacks (1996)
  • Turn off the Machine that's gonna destroy the world-- Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
  • Kiss the Girl-- The Fifth Element (1997)
  • Destroy the opponent from the inside-- Men in Black (1997)
  • Self-Sacrifice-- Armageddon (1998), Deep Impact (1998)
  • Nuclear Weapons-- The Avengers (2011)
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  1. I’m surprised there was no mention of Signs.
    If I remember correctly all you needed was a glass of water and a has been jock who can swing a baseball bat.
    Pretty simple ;)

    • Wow Signs, yeah. Might have to put that one in there…

      • Thanks for the last-minute call, Kevin 7! Signs is now in there!

        • Haha!
          Thanks Kofi! That was mighty nice of ya…

          • Wait! How old is this thread?

            Is this thread being dug out and re-used?! I am shocked.

            • We thought it would be appropriate to re-publish it today. 8)

              • Is that because you thought the world would end, and you could get away with it?? I’m watching you, end of the world or no.

                (^-^)

    • Not sure what list you were reading, but Signs was #2 on the list I read

  2. Avengers was released in 2012… In fact just a while back.

  3. I’m surprised the happening isn’t on this list haha.
    The Situation- plants get pissed causing people to commit suicide.
    The Solution- everyone just spread out so as not to anger the daffodils and lillies.
    World saving advice- never make daisy chains again

    • That movie freaked me out… :(

      • Yeah the happening was weird and creepy

      • Wahlburg deserved an oscar for the bit where he talked to the plastic plant.

    • RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! ITS THE BREEZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      That is how I viewed The Happening.

    • “The Happening” should have been re-titled “The Nothing Happening”!

      Awful film.

      • agreed that movie was just plain bad

  4. Yeah especially when they were falling off the scaffold. Weird

  5. Bruce Willis…Earth’s Greatest Hope.

  6. Cool list! – Definitely some handy tips…
    It’s a shame that most nerds and geeks would know EXACTLY what to do when these disasters happen (aliens invade, zombies attack, etc.) but unfortunately, most of us will be too scared $*!*less to do anything about it! ;)

    • @ The Avengers.

      No, they would crap their pants. Because everything they learned, will be thrown out the window because….

      1. What they trained for…IS NOW REALLY HAPPENING.
      2. All that Dungeons and Dragons, World of War Craft countless hours of Pokemon, Video Games, computers, bulletin board etc..etc..etc.
      Made the poor bastard have no stamina, out of shape and well…just really lazy.
      3. They lack any and all ability to actually use their physical talents….BECAUSE THEY HAVE NONE!
      4. A Large Majority of them will still not listen to their mothers from the inner sanctum of the basement.

      At least, I am a trained Rescue Swimmer and Pilot, can use weapons, make weapons.

      • wow some incredibly negative stereotypes. May I suuggest you increase your social circle if all the nerds/geeks in your life fit that description.

        Plus you are participating in an online dicsussion in a comment section of a tv/movie website about how useful movies about the world ending would be if the world did infact start to end. Most people would consider that extremely geeky. Do you still live in your mum’s basement?

        • @Avatar_popco: He answered that in his post. “I am a trained Rescue Swimmer and Pilot, can use weapons, make weapons.”

        • @avatar_popco: I don’t know if your comment was aimed at me or Jeff, but in any case, neither of us were talking about ALL nerds/geeks – just most nerds/geeks in general.

          Hell, I’m incredibly geeky/nerdy and if there’s a zombie outbreak or aliens invade, I’d probably be the go-to-guy in my area… the things is though, as Jeff pointed out, when the $#!t REALLY HAPPENS, all manner of common knowledge or smart thinking goes out the window and that’s when people like us (the nerds and geeks) will look to people like Jeff who have ACTUAL training and experience.

          Anyway, don’t take it so seriously! The world didn’t end (as far as I know ;)).

  7. Morgan Freeman is God

    • ?

      • And Jack Nicholson is the Devil.

  8. I will show them ‘It’s a wonderful life’

  9. Pretty good list. But if none of the above works I will high tail it to the south where everyone owns several guns. Best chance to live if you ask me!

  10. Man, I can’t believe Evolution isn’t referenced in this, David Duchovny, Sean William Scott,Julianne Moore and Orlando Jones Save the world blowing the aliens by using motherf***ing HEAD & SHOULDERS!!!

    • LMAO @ Matt

      Good Call!

      • I thought of that, too. The Austin Powers one was a ripoff of The Naked Gun 2 1/2 where Frank Drebin trips over the power cord unplugging the nuke and shutting it down.

  11. I can’t believe this is not mentioned, but in “The Faculty” it’s the use of drugs. I remember walking out of the theater and thinking to myself if you think about it this movie is advocating drugs, drug use literally saves the world.

  12. I’m so glad Independence Day made this list! I’m sorry, though, I have to go on my little rant. It really is necessary.

    Independence Day has to be one of the stupidest movies ever made! So we’re supposed to accept that a super-ultra-mega-technologically-advanced interstellar space-faring civilization could be defeated by a few Homo Sapiens…because they forgot to update their McAfee subscription?!?

    UUuuhhhhhhhh… No!!

  13. This is contradictory!!!!

    • Was this a “300″ reference? Cuz that’s how I read it lol.

  14. the mayan calendar is not ending- i don’t know why this is so continually ignored. merely a calendrical cycle is ending and a new one is beginning. that is all. its just like resetting an eggtimer, nothing more.

  15. 10 Things you need to survive the end of the world.

    1. Jeff Goldblum and a Mac Laptop.
    2. 9mm-40 Caliber Handguns- Longrange Sniper Rifle
    3. Halle Berry….ITS THE END OF THE WORLD!
    4. Bar Refaeli…..ITS THE END OF THE WORLD!
    5. Brooklyn Decker.ITS THE END OF THE WORLD!
    6. Generators
    7. Food and Water.
    8. Waterproof Matches.
    9. House on top of hill. 900 Foot drop out back that goes to right side of the house.
    10.Hand Cranked Radio.

    • We need your life lol!

  16. Armageddon is such a misused word. I think people are looking for the word ‘apocalypse’. If people actually did their research, the word Armageddon is Greek for a biblical location called Megiddo. Its does not mean ‘the end of the world’. rofl…

    • @Marcus.

      Actually Armageddon would be the end result of an Apocalypse. A Battle between those willing to defend, and those willing to take.

      Also, most refer to it as the rise of the Anti Christ, and him taking and enslaving all of mankind.

      And the resulting battle that would follow.

      If you want to truly get technical.

      • Incorrect.

      • Armageddon (Megiddo) is ‘the location’ where the biblical apocalypse occurs in Revelations. Its not the name of the event itself.

        • No, you see you are basing it on religious fact on one religion. Now I do not want to get into particulars, but Armageddon, The Apocalypse, End of Days, End of Time. Ragnarok

          Armageddon has moved passed the point of Megiddon, and not everyone reads of believes in the bible.

          Christadelphians believes that Armageddon could take place at anytime.

          Ahmadiyya

          Also believed that Armageddon could be at any place any time. Irregardless, you can base everything on one Religion,

          Dispensationalism
          Also Indicates Armageddon taken place at anytime between the forces of good and evil

          So Stop thinking like a Christian, and thinking Your God, is the Only God and one word does not have more than one meaning than the one you assume it to be.

        • You do know, you are thinking linear? Christianity is not the only religion in the world.

          Nor is God, the only interpretation.

          It all depends on the religion and the person.

          • @Marcus & Jeff W – And now back to the topic at hand (Hint: It isn’t religion).

            Thanks,
            Paul Young – Moderator

  17. Awesome list!

  18. If you wanna avoid Armageddon just dont watch the film “2012″ which is easy since that film sucks.

    • To late, I already did.

      • I love that movie. And all movies where the world ends. Im a sucker for disaster porn. I actually watched it before I came into work tonight. Just to hear the end of the world sound effects in my house in case it was actually going on outside. That and John Cusack yelling helps calm me.

  19. Worst.Apocalypse.Ever.

  20. Kill justin bieber

  21. Good list but you totally forgot to mention that in Evolution it was shampoo that saved the world :)

  22. What about drilling to the centre of the Earth and detonating nukes to get it spinning again.

  23. AHEM, “Evolution”

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