Many awful films have been made over the course of film history – so many in fact that there are thousands of lists on the Internet seeking to expose the worst. Some have been purely vanity projects like George Lucas’ Howard the Duck. Others were made in order to capitalize on its stars’ celebrity, such as Glitter or Gigli. But then there are some atrocities that were made for no apparent rhyme or reason, and just leave the audience thinking: “WTF???” Here is our list of the Top 10 Horrible Movies That Should Have Never Been Made.
Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)
Just when you thought the first Baby Geniuses couldn’t get any worse, Sony Pictures produced a sequel. In Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, a group of smart-talking toddlers-turned-superheroes have to stop a media mogul from hypnotizing kids through his cable-TV channel.
The title alone should have been enough to warrant throwing the script in the trash. But pair that with the awful poop and pee jokes throughout and Jon Voight playing a businessman who resembles Hitler, and you can help but think: “Why Sony, why?” There’s nothing redeeming about the film at all, except that it finally ends after 90 minutes. The only way to come to peace with the existence of Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 is to accept that there is no understandable answer. There is no why, there only is. We can only hope that Sony has enough sense to turn down a third installment if ever presented with the option.
Theodore Rex (1995)
Theodore Rex is a buddy-cop film that stars Whoopi Goldberg and… a Tyrannosaurus Rex (voiced by George Newbern). The dino goes by the name T. Rex (duh). It takes place in an alternate future society where humans and anthropomorphic dinosaurs co-exist. In the movie, Goldberg and T. Rex are on a mission to find the person who is killing dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals.
The concept is so moronic and juvenile that it’s hard to believe New Line Cinema would spend $33 let alone $33 million dollars to make the movie. They should have thrown the script in the trash after reading the opening narration, which states, “Once upon a time in the future…” The writing throughout is just as bad, with jokes and dialogue that make the audience wonder if they are in some sort of torture chamber. We can’t say for sure, but someone at New Line must have been blackmailed – or drunk – to think this was a good idea.
When Norbit released in 2007, it blew people’s minds – but not in a good way. Many people were wondering how Eddie Murphy, a comic genius, could write and produce such a piece of crap. In the film, Murphy is engaged to the bullying, controlling monster Rasputia (played by Murphy in a fat suit). Murphy is then reunited with his childhood love Kate (Thandie Newton) and tries to scheme his way out of his engagement with Rasputia to be with her.
The problem with Norbit is that the jokes aren’t clever or funny. Instead, they leave a bad taste in your mouth. Additionally, the plotline relies too heavily on the premise that being fat means that you are a horrible monster. Activists have also taken issue with the movie, stating that it’s just the latest film built around a man dressing up as an unsophisticated, overweight black woman (see also: Big Momma’s House and its sequels). The moral of this story is that just because you’re Eddie Murphy doesn’t mean that you can’t fall flat on your face.
From Justin to Kelly (2003)
Just over a decade old, From Justin to Kelly already seems like a relic from another. The film stars the first winner of American Idol, Kelly Clarkson, and runner-up Justin Guarini as a couple of young, clean-cut kids who fall for each other during spring break in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
You can’t blame Fuller for trying to milk his cash cow American Idol. But someone at 20th Century Fox should have had enough sense to know this was not a good idea. The script’s premise was beyond cliché. Clarkson noted that she never wanted to make the film, but had no other choice because she was contractually obligated. Forcing people to star in a film they don’t want to make probably isn’t the best way to elicit a good performance. Needless to say,the movie flopped and no sequel was made with Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard.
Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie was an ill-considered adaptation of a trading card game about some really gross children, who were themselves parodying the über-popular Cabbage Patch Kids dolls.
In the film, the Garbage Pail Kids are depicted by dwarf actors who steal, get in fights, fart in people’s faces, pee on themselves, and bite people’s toes off. The appearance of the Garbage Pail kids and their creepy singing is enough for anyone – children and adults alike – to have nightmares after they see the film. All of this wouldn’t be so disturbing if the movie hadn’t been written with children as its intended audience. The studio must have left their brains in a garbage pail when they decided to green light this horrific project.
Jack and Jill (2011)
In Jack and Jill, Jack Sadelstein (Adam Sandler), is a successful advertising executive in Los Angeles who dreads one event each year: the Thanksgiving visit of his identical twin sister Jill (also Adam Sandler).
Sandler has written and starred in his fair share of bombs, but Jack and Jill takes the cake. It’s a movie with no actual plotline – there’s no stakes, no climax, and no real ending. And the jokes are so bad that it feels like the audience is at the butt of them. The only redeeming quality is that Sandler is slightly funnier when he’s playing his own sister in drag. Sandler and his production company, Happy Madison Productions, have produced one bottom-of-the-barrel disaster after another over the past few years. Perhaps it’s time for them to take a long hiatus.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
Battlefield Earth is based on the first half of L. Ron Hubbard’s 1982 novel of the same name. Along with being a novelist, Hubbard is also the founder of Scientology. John Travolta, a long-time Scientologist, sought for many years to make the book into a film. He was unable to obtain funding from any major studio due to concerns about the film’s script, prospects, and its connections to a religion that many consider a cult. The project was eventually taken on in 1998 by Franchise Pictures, an independent production company that is known for rescuing stars’ stalled pet projects.
In the film, the human race is nearly extinct due to a race of humanoid aliens, known as the Psychlos. After watching 15 minutes of the movie, extinction doesn’t seem like such as bad idea. Everything about the film’s look is repulsive, from the tall aliens with hair extensions to the background that looks like it was colored in with crayon. Travolta plays the leader of the Psychlos, Terl. His acting is so cheesy though that it’s impossible for audiences to believe such a tool could have caused the human race to go extinct. And the worst crime was that almost every single frame of the movie was filmed using a Dutch tilt. Battlefield Earth is the epitome of a hot mess.
Someone should tell Uwe Boll to stop already. Just when you think it can’t get any worse after House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, and the Bloodrayne series, he writes one of the most preposterous scripts of all time. Blubberella is the story of an overweight dhampir who accidentally grants Hitler immortality. She then needs to destroy him and his army of undead SS officers. It’s a parody of his Boll’s own film, Bloodrayne: The Third Reich, and it was only produced because he could use the same sets and many of the same costumes.
Sounds like the film could be amusing, but it’s overuse of fat jokes and desperate attempts to be shocking make it pathetic. Boll tries to shock the audience into laughter with scenes like the one in which Blubberella (Lindsay Hollister) kills a man by farting in his face, but Blubberella is proof that Boll should leave comedy to the professionals.
Movie 43 (2013)
Movie 43 is a film that’s centered around screenwriter Charlie Wessler (Dennis Quaid) pitching a movie idea to unimpressed studio executive Griffin Schraeder (Greg Kinnear). Each of the 14 scenes Wessler pitches is a different comedic sketch in the film. Each scene was shot by a different director and features a new cast. Despite the wide net of talent involved in the film, the only thing these sketches have in common is that they all suck.
Movie 43 is misleading, as you can barely call it a movie. It’s a hackneyed “ensemble comedy” that wastes its A-list talent to make a series of disgusting and unfunny gross-out scenes. In one scene, Naomi Watts makes out with her teenage son. In another, a slumming Hugh Jackman reveals a pair of testicles on his neck during a date with Kate Winslet. Perhaps the worst is when Anna Faris asks Chris Pratt to defecate on her. Movie 43 took almost a decade to get into production, as most studios, as most studios rightfully thought it was a terrible idea.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has played many roles in his vast film career. He’s been a terminator, an “eraser,” a police detective, a spy, and, oh yeah, a pregnant man. In Junior, doctors Hesse (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Arbogast (Danny DeVito) invent a drug to help women carry pregnancies to term. Needing proof of the drug’s safety, Arbogast convinces Hess to impregnate himself.
It’s hard to believe that a studio would give the green light to a film that makes Schwarzenegger a pregnant man. I mean the guy is known for his muscles, not his comedic chops. Surprisingly, Schwarzenegger wasn’t bad in the Junior, but the imagery of him vomiting, clutching his oversize belly, and talking about his “sense of absolute joy and connection,” is something most viewers want to burn out of their brains.
Did we miss a horrible film that you couldn’t believe got made? Do you disagree with any of the films mentioned on this list? Let us know in the comments below!
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