8 Horror Icons Almost Anyone Could Defeat

Published 2 years ago by , Updated November 1st, 2012 at 7:02 pm, This is a list post.

8 Horror Icons Almost Anyone Could Defeat

10 Horror Icons Defeat Each October we're flooded with familiar horror icons, new and old, on the big and small screen. And we're instinctively frightened or terrified by them – especially as we watch them kill everyone and everything in their path. But if we really think about it, there are quite a few horror icons that aren't exactly all that difficult to deal with. In fact, almost anyone could defeat them. Let us tell you how…

Toby (Paranormal Activity)

Toby - Paranormal Activity Toby is the worst demon in the history of Hell. At first glance, Toby seems pretty terrifying (Paranormal Activity). Unfortunately, as we learn more about how he likes to make deals with witchy women for their first born sons (Paranormal Activity 2), you begin to notice that he spends way too much time hanging around little kids (Paranormal Activity 3) - even for a demon. Fact. Nowadays Toby doesn't know what he is doing. After kidnapping "his" precious boy – which he waited almost 100 years for – he gave it up for adoption, allowed him to grow up, found out who adopted him, found another creepy kid, bought a house nearby and then had a bunch of witches move into the neighborhood. What kind of demon would do that? Loser demons. Loser demons who have nothing better to do than to follow one family for YEARS. So how do you beat Toby? Find a better demon to make a deal with. Listen, not all demons are after first born sons. You'd be surprised how many demons and/or gods are completely happy with an animal sacrifice. And those demons cannot be bamboozled by a silly Microsoft Kinect (Paranormal Activity 4). Chance of Defeating: 100%

Birds (The Birds)

The Birds A single bird isn't scary. Many birds, however, can be quite terrifying. Throw in a couple of eagles and falcons in there and the humans are up for a tough fight. Did you know that eagles kill wolves? They do. But guess what? Thanks to Hilary Swank and the 2003 movie The Core, we know that messing with the Earth's electromagnetic field will cause the birds to kill themselves. Now there's no need to make a plan to actually stop the Earth from spinning (even if we know that Hilary Swank and Aaron Eckhart can start it back up again). All we need to do is take that logic and weaponize it. Of course, since most people aren't going to be able to do it themselves (watch MythBusters), flamethrowers and shovels would work great. Or, you know, a shotgun filled with bird shot. That probably would work best. Flamethrowers, shovels and electromagnetic guns are still cooler. Chance of Defeating: 98%

Samara (The Ring)

Samara - The Ring Samara (The Ring) Samara's mother killed her by dropping her in a well. Yes, that's sad, but it's not our problem to deal with. Family issues are best left for Maury, not haunted VHS tapes. Samara's wrath (whatever it is) relies on the popularity of video tapes – which, if we're all being honest, isn't all that popular. If by some chance you do see the creepy video, you've still got 7 days to make a copy and make someone else watch it. Samara is the only horror icon that attacks on a schedule. After watching the video, you've got 5 days to waste on letting her creep you out as she prepares for her appearance. Then, after you get annoyed with all of her prank phone calls, just make a copy and make someone else watch it. Or play the video into a mirror – maybe that'll kill her? Who knows. The point is that you have 7 billion people in the world to pass this curse on to. Use it to your advantage. Chance of Defeating: 100%

Pinhead (Hellraiser)

Pinhead - Hellrasier Pinhead may very well be the most feared horror icon, and for good reason: he will take your skin AND your soul, all while torturing you for eternity. What you have on your side is that Pinhead is also one the most understanding and intellectually capable horror icons you could unfortunately meet. While Pinhead has made more than his fair share of deals in his time, the problem is that people aren't very good at keeping up their end of the bargain with him. Sometimes he'll toss in some trickery (especially if you're talking about the most recent, straight-to-DVD features), but generally he just wants bad people to pay for messing with his box.  All he wants is some souls to torture. Now, this doesn't HAVE to be you (if you play your cards right). Let's just pretend that you already opened the box (stupid – but understandable, actually). All you have to do is offer up another soul in trade. But it has to be a VERY bad one. Good thing VERY bad people exist in this world. Use them to save yourself. Tell him you'll send him into a prison full of souls, and he'll be more than happy to leave you be... for now. Chance of Defeating Pinhead (by not dying): 75%

Jigsaw (Saw)

Jigsaw - Saw Listen, I'm not going to lie to you. If you're dealing with Jigsaw, it's very likely that you're a jerk in the first place. There's a slim chance you just got caught up in someone else's challenge, but Jigsaw – at least the original – had some method to his painful madness. Considering it's too late to tell you to simply be a better person, the only way to survive is to play his game. On some weird level, he's trying to make you a better person. True, you may lose some flesh and/or blood weight, but you'll come out of it better. Hopefully. Like Pinhead, there really isn't a way to "defeat" Jigsaw. But I'd say that, in this case, surviving is just as good. Chance of Defeating Jigsaw (by staying alive): 100% (if you do what you're told – and don't suck at games)

Carrie (Carrie)

Carrie Yes, Carrie does have some dangerous abilities. But she's only dangerous when she's angry. While many people out there will understand the difficulties of dealing with an emotional high school girl, it's still just an emotional high school girl. Give her some flowers, bring her some cupcakes, make a mixtape – c'mon, do something. Listen, if the difference between life and death is a smile, how about you jump around and do a silly dance? If you're an attractive man who just wants to be a really terrible person, you could sacrifice yourself to her and tell her you love her, thus saving everyone else from her wrath. But once she finds out you don't really love her…. Good luck! Chance of defeating: 100%

Chucky (Child's Play)

Chucky - Child's Play Chucky is a plastic doll with the soul of serial killer. Sure, he has a wife and kid now, but let's take it back to the beginning. If you're a kid and have to deal with Chucky, your small hands and general physical weaknesses are no match for China's plastic. Adults, however, should have no problem tearing apart Chucky. We've all seen people do some crazy stuff in TV and movies that could be used to help us kill him. Do it! Take his body parts, split them up into different boxes and Megatron/Dexter him to the bottom of the ocean. Do something. Even if he has the soul of serial killer, he really is only plastic. But what about the fact that he's small? Step on him. Do you really want to be the person your friends mock for being killed by a doll? They should and will. So how about everyone stops dying from an angry doll, okay? Chance of defeating: 90%

Norman Bates (Psycho)

Norman Bates - Psych Norman Bates, oh how your iconic shower scene is played over and over again. Here's the thing: you just stabbed some woman who was staying at a hotel you creepily owned. That's like killing someone who is taking a shower at your house. Not exactly all that challenging, per se. Sure, he may have crazy thoughts of his mother rolling around in his head, but he's still just a gangly man out for murder. While you can't really plan for someone to surprise you in the shower, take a note from Howie Mandell and generally avoid strange bathrooms of any kind – especially in a motel. If, somehow, Bates is still able to get into your room, it'll be face-to-face battle. Because of his awkward, creepy, passive-aggressive, mother-loving personality, it's very likely that it would cause him to freak out and run away. If all else fails, grasp your keys firmly in your hand and just start stabbing (learned that on The View). Since Norman is adverse to direct confrontation, all you have to do is survive his first couple of swings before his "flight" instinct jumps in. Change of defeating: 85%

Conclusion

10 Horror Icons Defeat So there you have it… You now have the tools to survive another day (or another icon). But what about Freddy, Jason and all the rest? Well, you can stay safe from Jason by avoiding poorly run camps. As for Freddy, you should probably stay away from any city named Springwood. Because once Freddy has your scent, the only thing you can do is default to "9, 10 – never sleep again!" What other horror icons do you think would be easy to defeat? And how would you do it? (Remember, electromagnetic guns and shovels is already taken).
TAGS: carrie, childs play, hellraiser, Paranormal Activity, saw

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  1. I loved your description of Paranormal.

  2. Answer: All of them. Including Jason and Freddie. As for Jason, well, he only uses blades to kill. He is a very intimate killer. People invented rocket launchers, use them for crying out loud. Freddie, also simple when applied to reality. It is called lucid dreaming. Once you apply that and realize you can control your own dream, he is pretty much putty in your hands. Silly really.

    • You apparently have’nt seen all the ft13th movies, he’s used harpoons and an electric fisherman stick. Freddy was already a phychotic killer before he died if you’ve seen the noes movies and he gave a pretty good fight against jason in freddy vs jason. And if you kill him in the real world he’ll simply return through the dream world and yes, you can control your dreams but freddy makes the rules and he’ll do anything to get you including using your deepest and darkest fears against you.

      • All u have to be is not scared of freddy n he is useless as for jason he has died 3 times but ppl just keep bringing him back! So u can kill jason like a normal person shot gun his legs off n cut his head off separate them n go about ur business

    • Jason is immortal

      • Immortable, yes, but rarely attacking the same person a second time. Take him out once and you are probably good. He will come back, but to attack someone else.

  3. Another way to kill Samara(The Ring)is by placing your TV on top of a really tall building before the final day she kills you..that way, when she stupidly climbs out of the TV, she falls off the building and…SPLAT!She’s gone! :)

    • How to kill/stop Samara: Copy the video to an iPhone and let another person watch it there… let’s see Samara come out of an iphone… Make sure there are no big screen TVs around… ;P

    • I can imagine that, haha :)

    • That is TOTALLY genius! xD

    • ok well ur wrong cause all yall are talking about is bull cause there not even real so if they where i woundnt be scared you might but im not

  4. ? Carrie is not a bad guy, seriously?

  5. I am adding this site to my blocked list. The slide shows are to much of a pain in the butt to del with. If the purpose of the site u to attract readers,mthen you need to rethink.
    Pity, the stories are pretty good, but the interface makes it a pain.

    Dwight Simmons

    • Couldn’t you just…NOT go to this site, or not click the articles? Plus, couldn’t you also learn how to spell?

    • Thanks Dwight K Schrute for your insight. Good luck with beat season

  6. Vs Freddy–

    Just be Captain Jack Harkness. He’ll kill you, you’ll pop back to life and so on and so on!

    If you’re not Captain Jack….then may I suggest Buffy or Faith? Buffy is definitely Slayer #1 however Faith’s not died once!

  7. I’m sorry but I disagree with you on Pinhead and Chucky. You don’t f*** with anything that’s hell itself, if Pinhead wants your soul and to make you suffer for eternity, he will, wether you bargain with him and not. And true Chucky may be small but he’s quick as hell and would you really expect him to come out of someplace like a closet, shelf, or any other small area where he’d come at you? surprise is his strategy and a knife is a knife, it’ll hurt and it’ll kill. And he’s even more dangerous if he’s in a room with regular good guy dolls, he’d blend right in.

    • Yeah I probably wouldn’t try to bargain with Pin Head either…and thanks to The Possession, I’m a little less interested in pretty antique boxes. The Ring…well I quit buying VHS after that movie so take that Samara. lol… my only real horror hang up is Zombies. I mean seriously, if you survive, you either end up like those poor survivors on Dawn of the Dead or a guinea pig like Res.Evil’s Alice… Either fate is sad, but not nearly as sad and walking around dead and stinking for the remainder of the planet’s life. IDK… but survival of any situation is common sense. Don’t stop at creepy hotels, motels, or dilapidated camps/cabins in the woods. No rest stops or short cuts on the interstates, never pick up hitchhikers, and only drink beverages that are in tamper resistant containers. lol

  8. Thing is, if you’ve seen Rings, it’s revealed that Samara can come out of reflected surfaces.

  9. this article was terrible.

  10. You are wrong about jigsaw. He’s lethal! You just don’t ‘play the games’ as you described. It pretty much messes with your head and can leave you mentally unstable or even worse disabled for life.

  11. I love your sense of humor. I knew Chucky would be on here.

  12. One problem with many of the icons is that they always come back no wonder how badly you destroy them. Who can defeat someone like that?

  13. Bahahahah, nice The View reference. I adore your witty humor.

  14. Just give Chuck Norris a call. No one can defeat Chuck Norris

    • Bruce lee did. But then again, he is dead.

  15. Omg…..lol poor toby

  16. Battleground: 2.5 inch plastic army men… pick them up with your thumb and forefinger, and take them to the nearest microwave (or use a magnifying glass if its nice out)

    puppetmaster: wooden puppets… hang them up by the strings until they lose interest in killing you.

    monsturd: literally a hybrid 8 foot tall turd/murderer/rapist. cover it in a giant paper bag, take it to your dearest enemies house, set said bag on front porch, light bag on fire…

    thankskilling: psychotic turkey, shoot it with a gun.

    american horror story(tv horror series) character, the grim reaper: as long as you tell her you don’t want to go with her, she won’t kill you.

    all of these have a 100 percent survival rate as long as you have a voice, a lighter, and a horrible taste in b-movies

  17. I may get harassed about this but Jason would actually be very easy to rid yourself of with the one proper weapon. A 30 tonne slab of concrete. Squish him underneath it, and never remove the slab. Problem solved.

    • Oh, and I suppose that you could lift a 30 ton slab?

    • ….. From watching the Friday the 13th movies I wouldn’t even go in somewhere named “camp crystal lake”. And from all horror movies i have watched never go in basements, abandoned houses/warehouses, the woods, camp, or a cabin in the woods. And plus if these people had brains they would leave the place right then and there. And don’t be any type of white girl because you will trip over grass and die. That’s what I learned from horror movies. How would you even get a 30 pound slab of concrete and squish Jason?

  18. The Frankenstein monster is slow and plodding. If you saw him first getting away would be easy

  19. Kick
    .

  20. Or you know with pinhead you could just hit him in the head with something solid (ie; shovel, 2×6, as long as it’s kinda wide) and knock those pins into his brain thus killing him duh! Haha

  21. Micheal Myers: The thing about my boy micheal is, that Laurie had the right idea about beheading him.Trouble is she beheaded the wrong guy, Make sure it’s him for fudge sakes.Then just to be sure he doesn’t regenerate or some s*** cut off all his limbs leaving him in six pieces, and dump each one in a different valcano there problem solved.

    Jason Voorhees: Jason has an unhealthy fear of water yes, but it’s not the best way to kill him. Jason X could have killed him off if they wanted, just send him into the sun!

    Freddy: one word: Hyponal

  22. boy was this a waste of space . first of all , there is a back story to samara that hasnt been publicized yet and what if i stole your copy of the tape during your 5 stoner days , cuz i would just for you … same thing as pinhead . there are unknown things about the character pinhead that are still to come which fills in the gaps to your psuedo-logic approach and the retarded nature of all monotheist thinking , you assume things that are false reality in your real brain yet you still exist with your retarded insights . jig’saw is a peer of mine starting after which date is NOYB . another error of assumption with carrie , assuming she can only do that when shes mad or that her destiny forced her at that time to be that way … etc , advanced quantom string theory s*** …. as for the birds , very few individuals could comprehend and execute what you claim alone . anyONE ? as for norman bates , you fail to include the psychological profiling criteria of specified socio-psychopaths and how narrow the targeted sample group can be . most likely you dont fall into the group to begin with . and if you do you are prolly not even aware of it , even though the chances of being targeted by one of those are less than .001 percent on average per year , go left instead of right one day and you might miss or hit your targeted group , haha …. etc . lame article good for stupid monothiest

    • You sir…..have no life.

    • Really? I absolutely hate it when someone goes off in a rant on an opinion and tries to use big words so they feel superior. Dude, read the dictionary, research and understand your argument before you post a reply. You only embarass yourself really. Just a tip. And to the author, great job! This is a cool site for entertainment purposes and getting to know other people’s opinions. I applaud you for your time, temperament, ( oops is that one of those big words?) and your witty personal portrayal and opinions of these movies, characters and scenes.

      • shut up please your the one using big words 1 when text somone first think about what your going to say

  23. Hannibal Lecter? Buffalo Bill? Damien Thorn? The Tall Man? How would you survive them? Just curious….

  24. MUH’FUH GOLDEN EAGLES!

  25. Ok, I’m not a big fan of horror movies but know something about them xD
    I guess Chucky could be really easy if you are in an empty room with no closets or anything. The guy is really fast and likes to hide! But besides that you can simply take his knife, stab him in the head and kick the heck out of him. Then throwing the damned doll into a volcano. That simple.
    As for Jigsaw…I would come out from his game with a serious mental disorder or anything. But at least it makes us better people. You dont want to end up in Jigsaw’s naughty list, right? :)
    Samara…you could just give a thief your TV! He deserves it anyways :3

  26. How about just pumping Carrie up with happy pills?

    • wow lol

  27. What is the that stuf and you picture is that I have never Sean her on any scary movie

  28. how to kill Samara, have the video broadcasted in national TV, after 7 days, all who watched would join forces and kill her

  29. Anything with suspense and or a jump. I agree with It. Also the original ghost ship, alone in the dark (anyone seen it) razorback. There must be stacks more I can’t remember the name. Sleepy hollow was cool, alien yes. Cujo, the one with the giant worms in he desert, the maimed grizzly, the woman got buried alive, the famil stuck in a house with a paranormal (much darker than shining), American gothic, and what about lord of the flies. That is sickening. The fog, Steven kings fog movie too. Apocalypto was a bit scary at times, king tuts tomb, Jack the Ripper (the woman walks faster but the man is a little faster and then appears in front when she turns around) . Original creepshow, the fly, the unholy, pet cemetery, pumpkin head original,